[Noneofyourbussiness]

The thing is that i cannot live up to the expectations and i feel extremely depressed and anxious because of this. i also developed some kind of social phobia, as i tend to avoid social meetings and family reunions, i even closed all of my social networking accounts and I had to end a 6 months relationship with a gorgeus girl because i hated going out and talking to her, mostly because she was the entire opposite of me (extroverted, superficial and airheaded). I hate people and always fantasized of exterminating the entire human population (i know that sounds horrible or even childish), im a sociopath, that means i feel no regrets, dont love anyone and use people only to satisfy my desires (i just feel like im in a debt with my parents and only respect them and put them before anyone else because of that), the irony here is that i cant stand someone better, smarter or better looking than me, that plus the fact that the society i live in expects me to be just as dumb and plain like them makes me wonder if its really worth living in such a decaying world where something like god isnt relevant anymore. I tried to search for a purpose in life, something im made for... But now everything looks extremely superficial and not worth living for. I consumed some antidepresants and anxiety drugs in the past and visited a few psicologists, but none of them helped me. I would like to know what kind of problem i have and how could i try to resolve it, be creative and dont tell me to simply go see a therapist. I cant stand these people anymore, sometimes i wish i was born like them and just live to have fun, but i cant.
Im a 22 years old medicine student, i live with my parents and brother in south america. Before you try to analize my situation i have to explain a bit how does my life look like. I live in a wealthy environment, that means im surrounded by the upper class people and my family expects me to be a succesful proffessional. as you may have guessed, the country i live in is very poor and the gap between normal and rich people is enourmous and that is why my parents wanted us to live in a upper class society. But thats where the problem begins... The fact that i must live up to the expectations of my family and friends. My family wants me to finish my studies in a high ranking u.s university, and my friends expect me to be just like them, that means going to the gym every day, going to the most exclusive parties and of course being with the most gorgeous girls. There is also something that is completely unknown for foreigners and that is the fact that the latin american society in general is EXTREMELY racist, as generally the indigenous population is discriminated as well people from countries where most people belong to that group (example: bolivia-argentina)

[Crypts_Of_The_Mind]

Originally Posted by Noneofyourbussiness

The thing is that i cannot live up to the expectations and i feel extremely depressed and anxious because of this. i also developed some kind of social phobia, as i tend to avoid social meetings and family reunions, i even closed all of my social networking accounts and I had to end a 6 months relationship with a gorgeus girl because i hated going out and talking to her, mostly because she was the entire opposite of me (extroverted, superficial and airheaded). I hate people and always fantasized of exterminating the entire human population (i know that sounds horrible or even childish), im a sociopath, that means i feel no regrets, dont love anyone and use people only to satisfy my desires (i just feel like im in a debt with my parents and only respect them and put them before anyone else because of that), the irony here is that i cant stand someone better, smarter or better looking than me, that plus the fact that the society i live in expects me to be just as dumb and plain like them makes me wonder if its really worth living in such a decaying world where something like god isnt relevant anymore. I tried to search for a purpose in life, something im made for... But now everything looks extremely superficial and not worth living for. I consumed some antidepresants and anxiety drugs in the past and visited a few psicologists, but none of them helped me. I would like to know what kind of problem i have and how could i try to resolve it, be creative and dont tell me to simply go see a therapist. I cant stand these people anymore, sometimes i wish i was born like them and just live to have fun, but i cant.
Im a 22 years old medicine student, i live with my parents and brother in south america. Before you try to analize my situation i have to explain a bit how does my life look like. I live in a wealthy environment, that means im surrounded by the upper class people and my family expects me to be a succesful proffessional. as you may have guessed, the country i live in is very poor and the gap between normal and rich people is enourmous and that is why my parents wanted us to live in a upper class society. But thats where the problem begins... The fact that i must live up to the expectations of my family and friends. My family wants me to finish my studies in a high ranking u.s university, and my friends expect me to be just like them, that means going to the gym every day, going to the most exclusive parties and of course being with the most gorgeous girls. There is also something that is completely unknown for foreigners and that is the fact that the latin american society in general is EXTREMELY racist, as generally the indigenous population is discriminated as well people from countries where most people belong to that group (example: bolivia-argentina)

Hello, good to make your acquaintance.

Now - first, I have a question because there is something that confuses me. You have said you are a sociopath - is this a true diagnosis you have been given by a psychiatrist, or one you assume based on self-test results and research on the disorder? I ask this question because one thing about you stands out to me without question: you want help. Most sociopaths and psychopaths do not want help both because they do not recognize their behavior as a problem and because their behavior is generally beneficial in getting what they desire and since they do not have any regard for other people's feelings (and sometimes well-being) this is not seen as something that needs to change. I say most psychopaths and sociopaths do not want help because it is true there are exceptions to that rule - but they are rare. Next, you have said one of the major problems you are facing is your parents expect one thing from you but your friends expect another. Now, usually I would simply remind you that you are in control of your happiness, nobody else - so don't let others decide what it is that makes you happy. However, the way I understand it, if you are a true sociopath you may not know what will make you happy because you may not even know how to feel happy. If this is the case - I will tell you - you are the only one in control of the direction your life will take - good or bad. If you let others take that control, you are in effect losing out on part of the experiences you could be having in life - and the ones that might have occurred as a result of those experiences. You always should be fair to yourself - live up to your own expectations. Don't worry on what others think - all that does is again, allow others to control a part of your life you could otherwise be enjoying and experiencing differently.

There are many alternative therapies for mental illnesses but it is important you first get accurate physical and mental diagnoses so you do not inadvertantly make anything worse. There is more than one way of treating almost everything naturally, but there is always one or two ways that are better than the rest based on your specific needs.

I use vitamin D, rose essential oil, cedar wood essential oil, lavender essential oil, exercise, different dietary foods, and relaxation techniques to help with my depression, anxiety, borderline personality and ptsd. I also use medication when needed. But these are things I have found work for me - I am also going to look into accupuncture and perhaps things such as reiki.

Also, as far as God goes and whether or not he is relevant - that all depends on you personally. Do you choose to believe in God? If so, do you choose to believe God can make a difference in your life? If so, is there a specific reason you choose to believe he cannot make a difference in the world if he so chooses? If nonr of these things are a belief of your own - is there a reason it bothers you the world sees God as irrelevant (according to you)?

These again are all choices and experiences within only your control as they all pertain to your specific belief - choose the decisions that make you happiest or that you believe will lead you to the best experiences.

That is just an example.

Do this continuously in your life. There is only one exception to the rule: you must make sure your decision does not harm another or if you are faced with a decision that can only result in harm no matter what, choose the one resulting in the least harm for all involved.

[Skeezyks]

Hello noneofyourbussiness: Welcome to PsychCentral. I'm not going to try to analyze your situation. Your life, as you describe it in your post, is so different from mine that any insights I might imagine I had would probably be pretty-much worthless. Also, I'm an old man, while you are still young.

I struggle primarily with anxiety & anger issues along with some accompanying depression. While I am married, I am otherwise pretty-much completely solitary by choice. I consider it my gift to the world. I have never gotten along with other people, in real life. I'm not comfortable in social situations & so I choose not to "inject" myself into them.

In my life I have been both abused & the abuser. And now I simply choose to keep to myself. I have no purpose in life. I personally don't believe there is any purpose to life. So any purpose one chooses to pursue is simply something of their own choosing, not anything connected to some "higher power", so to speak. I consider that, in this life, there is nothing to hold onto, no resting place, no sanctuary. Life simply is what it is. Nothing is hidden. I just thought I would share my perspective with you, for what it's worth.

My best wishes to you...

[Fuzzybear]

Good post

Welcome to pc, noneofyourbussiness

Originally Posted by Skeezyks

Hello noneofyourbussiness: Welcome to PsychCentral. I'm not going to try to analyze your situation. Your life, as you describe it in your post, is so different from mine that any insights I might imagine I had would probably be pretty-much worthless. Also, I'm an old man, while you are still young.

I struggle primarily with anxiety & anger issues along with some accompanying depression. While I am married, I am otherwise pretty-much completely solitary by choice. I consider it my gift to the world. I have never gotten along with other people, in real life. I'm not comfortable in social situations & so I choose not to "inject" myself into them.

In my life I have been both abused & the abuser. And now I simply choose to keep to myself. I have no purpose in life. I personally don't believe there is any purpose to life. So any purpose one chooses to pursue is simply something of their own choosing, not anything connected to some "higher power", so to speak. I consider that, in this life, there is nothing to hold onto, no resting place, no sanctuary. Life simply is what it is. Nothing is hidden. I just thought I would share my perspective with you, for what it's worth.

My best wishes to you...