Hate the presence of others.

How might I tolerate the presence of other people in general? I have always loathed the company of other people, especially with my own family. Although there are a few exceptions, I always feel a strange irritation when engaging in social activities. There is no particular origin of the irritation, no reason, but it simply occurs. It is to the point that I spend the vast majority of my day alone.

As an introvert, I do appreciate elongated solitude, but as it seems a requirement to interact with other people (frequently), it has become rather problematic. My repetitive irritation (and sometimes a slight sense of loathing) does not always trigger in the presence of friends, but when near either my family or a notable, collective group of people, it tends to gradually increase.

There are no prominent issues which have ever occurred in my life; well, except perhaps philosophically. Which seems rather ironic to me, considering the fact that I tend to have reoccurring episodes of frustration when with my family, even though my family is financially and emotionally stable- nor have I ever dealt with instances of personal bullying or harassment. If anything, the majority of my frustration tends to be directed towards society as a whole; honestly, people virtually all seem the same to me. Sure, their habits might differ, but their virtues, goals, and even personalities all seem to reflect only each other. Physical contact is exceptionally irritating to me, especially hugs and hand-contact. I quite literally have no romantic, or physical, attraction to anyone for that matter.

I might add that as a particularly picky eater, I do not receive the recommended supplements of fruits or vegetables. Not exactly sure if that inherently correlates with the current issue I have presented, but it does contribute to daily exhaustion. Honestly, I am not really asking for a solution as much as just a means to tolerate people. Sure I have never actually lashed out at anyone in any manner, but it stresses me out beyond belief.

If you are happy alone you can try to minimize the contact with people. Being irritated it is normal as you seem to have no interest in socializing. It takes courage and a lot of patience to do so, since you have to be a good listener.

Personally, I find social situations irritating when I do not feel ok with myself, as discussions with people seem bring up issues that stress me out. But otherwise I think socializing gives you perspective in your life. We tend to be so self-referential sometimes that it can get repetitive and very static. I would recommend to take baby steps in trying to socialize, first with people you tend to tolerate and trust more and maybe discuss those issues with them.

i really don't like having others near me, despite people telling me all the time i can't be alone for all my life (everyone needs at least 1 face to face friend)

but do they?

i'm alone and don't have people visit me, and i'm happy and content with that

If people all seem basically the same to you, how are you different from them?

I'm an introvert too-- I prefer my own company to that of others. My introversion was exacerbated in my childhood by the fact I was academically ahead of my peers (I knew words like "exacerbated" long before they did) and I was treated differently as a result. Some were resentful and some were just hesitant about trying to engage with me. I learned early on how to blend in as much as possible, but my consistent good grades still set me apart.

It sounds like your irritation with people in general might stem from an impatience with them. I felt that way for a long time, but in time I learned the truth of the statement that "everyone is just doing the best they can." Once I internalized that it became much easier for me to socialize and deal with others. Family is another story. All I can say about that is the old trope that we can choose our friends but we can't choose our families. Hope this helps some.

I have these issues. My friends laugh at my general dislike of the general public but unfortunately there are so many nasty, aggressive and selfish people out there it just makes my feelings worse.

I work and have to deal with the public in a health care setting and while I love my job and do it well, I can't seem to deal with people who are rude to me. It's like an explosion goes off in my head and I struggle to keep quiet knowing I need my job. I just don't understand how people can speak to someone in such a terrible way.

I will socialise with my friends at their or my house but if it means having to go out where there are lots of other people then I choose not to go. I can't bear people invading my personal space. I've been single for 4 years now because the thought of being close with someone, especially intimately, makes me feel sick just thinking about it.

I completely understand how you feel, and you can only deal with it on a day to day basis.

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I too am like this. Meds have helped with the agitation I get but not completely. I find I can get quite b*tchy towards people which makes my job hard to tolerate. I'm fine at the start of my shift but near the end, I'm ready to strangle someone. Anxiety meds have helped me relax too. Don't feel so bad about not having friends or visitors. I have "friends" that I haven't spoken to in years. You can't help how you feel. If you're really concerned and want a change then maybe therapy can help? Just a thought. However I even avoid therapists lol. People get on my nerves very quickly and I much rather have my smartphone or a good book!

I've yet to encounter another person who experiences such immense irritation when around others, so I thought I must reply. For myself, the irritation is mostly due to "feeling crowded". I cannot stand a multitude of people and movements and chit-chat all hovering about me. I don't like when others stand too close to me either, though the distance necessary depends upon the individual and how "clean" they feel to me. I become so very aggravated. Pissed off, really. My family are the main source of this frustration, but that is because I happen to be around them more. As an adolescent not yet aware of the reasoning behind such irrational anger, I would simply become furious when my personal space was invaded. Now, I have learnt to communicate my feelings and explain what causes me discomfort. This alleviates some of the problems, though not all, as there are still instances in which I am forced to be around a lot of people. Working, grocery shopping, and the holidays, for instance. There are some days when the thought of interacting with other people brings upon me an unbearable tiredness, and it is on these days when I may "snap", as they say, and behave rather rudely. I suppose it is the only way I know how to communicate my desire for people to leave me alone. In public, I usually rush to an empty area and sort of stay there until I can discern a pathway with less people. I also keep my gaze fixed upon the ground and do this sort of odd hum, which I'm sure must seem odd to an onlooker. Again, this is a way I communicate "get away", I suppose.
And then there are, what I refer to as my "f**ck it days", where my brain just decides it's had enough and forgets how to hold even the most basic of conversation.
What a lovely-albeit longwinded-story Midday, but what, pray tell, was your point? You may ask. Be patient, I say. I was nearly there.
The only way to deal with this frustration is to delve deep within the crevices of your mind and determine the main cause of your irritation. You mentioned a dislike for humanity as a whole-a trait shared by much of humanity, funnily enough-but what is the reasoning behind such detestation? (Perhaps too strong a word, I know.) If it is simply due to the fact that humans, as a whole, are pretty awful, then I believe you are wasting precious energy. Brooding over the rotten nature of others will cause no change to occur. People will continue to hurt others so long as they have something to gain, be it something tangible like money, or something as simple as a boost in pride. Such is human nature.
I've gone off one a bit of a tangent. There is a reason for everything, and therefore, a deeper reasoning behind your bitterness. If not, you've wasted quite a bit of time.
Find the source of your irritation and share these reasons with your family so that you may spare yourself, and them, future discomfort. It isn't fair that you should live constantly irritated, and it isn't fair that they be the objects of such negative emotions without knowing why.
Hopefully a bit of the above makes some sort of sense and is found helpful.

I prefer solitude as well. Honestly, I only invite my family members to my apartment (which, thankfully, isn't often) just to be "nice." It amazes me how incompatible everyone can be with me. It's much more fun to just do what I want to do rather than just grin and bare it and not be myself. My only other social interaction is with friends at school, and even then it can be a little much.

thought provoking post.

thanks

Well, you know yourself better than anyone else... what do you think the problem is? Would be interested to hear what you think.

Also, I know this isn't exactly related to your post, but if you have a few minutes could you please complete this quiz for me?

http://psychcentral.com/quizzes/narcissistic.htm

If you could either share your result here or PM me that would be awesome.

Do you tend to find though that the more time you spend alone the worse it gets? I've had a few days off work and I've spent it mostly at home. The thought of having to go out and get back to normal is worse than it might normally be.

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