[scaredycat3]

I've been obsessing over my past a lot and it feels like everything has been a waste.
I'm turning 18 in about 3 months and I haven't done anything that "normal" teenagers I know have done these years.
Instead of partying and meeting new people I've spent years inside my head obsessing over things that shouldn't matter. I feel left out and I can't really relate to other girls my age.
I don't have many friends - the few I have can't empathize with my situation and I'm afraid I'll be all alone soon.
I've never been in a relationship either because I've pushed people away and isolated myself. I know this probably sounds stupid since I'm still young, but I'll never get those years back and the future isn't looking too bright either.
And the worst part is that it has taken this long to actually realize it.

I've spent most of my life making up scenarios and characters for me to interact with and now I do it every day.
I can spend hours "talking" to people in my head - they have their own stories, personalities, and they actually care about me.
I've always pushed away the thought "they're not real" even if it's obvious. It feels great to immerse myself in a better world with interesting characters, and fantasy is better than reality.

But there are times, like now, when I'm coming back to the real world and it makes me sick.
It all hits me at once: I'm wasting my time, I'm lonely, my life is mediocre compared to the fantasy world and I'm a flawed person.
I know that pretty much everyone likes to get lost in daydreams from time to time but I've been doing it so often now that the real world almost makes me physically ill. I always knew something was wrong regarding these fantasies but I didn't realize what it was until now.
I don't think I've ever felt this lonely and I feel guilty for daydreaming now.

I'm just posting this to get it out of my system and see if anyone else has/had a similar experience.
I really wish I wouldn't have to "feel old" at this age or obsess about the past but everything seems like a giant waste of time and potential.

[ScientiaOmnisEst]

I can relate a little: I didn't have normal teenage years either. I'm no old soul, but I mostly spent my time fantasizing, making up stuff and playing around with ideas mentally to the point where I've questioned if I'm a maladaptive daydreamer (I'm not). It's not as intellectual as it sounds, I promise. Actually, the "scenarios and characters" thing is quite like what I do, only I always imagine it more like a movie or TV show, rather than anything for my own interaction. I still do it, even as I'm out in the world more.

I've pushed people away my entire life, even though the loneliness hurts sometimes. I'm of a mixed opinion on people: so I want them in my life or not? Perhaps you feel the same?

I can't offer much more than that. I don't know how or if it changes, I'm just a few years older than you.

[Fizzyo]

I think I was born old. I had nothing in common with other teenagers when I was one and certainly didn't go partying or sitting in little groups chatting and that sort of thing. I thought I was a freak.
Now I'm relatively ancient I have found a few people I do have stuff in common with and have more choices in life.
I hope you will find the strength to engage in life and find your way as well as the odd daydream. It can be good to have a safe place in your mind to go to when stressed or sad, as long as you are in the real world too.
You will then have more facets to your life than other people. Most people can't talk to kindly characters in their imagination like you can. You can use them as a source of strength and comfort, or a hiding place.
I wish you all the best and for strength to face the future. It may have more good times than you think. Much of my life has been better at least in some ways than I imagined it at age 18.
Sending care and hugs!

[Fizzyo]

[Fuzzybear]

[ArtsySkeleton]

As another 17 year old, I completely understand. This is probably one of the most stressful years of our lives. We are about to hit adulthood and have a wave of responsibility thrown at us. We feel as though we have to have done something reckless or wild for our teen years to be "successful". Many of us haven't even gotten out license yet and society expects us to be out there causing drama like stereotypical movie teenagers. You haven't wasted your teen years. Teens now just don't have much wiggle room.

As for characters, don't even get me started!~ I have been a maladaptive daydreamer since day 1! I find Joy and inspiration from my daydreams and characters. I love imagining them in certain scenarios and drawing them! As for socializing, why not use them? I love role playing with my characters with friends on Instant Messaging and Forum sites and I highly recommend it for someone looking for an outlet!

Also, I've been in a few very short-lasting relationships because it's not my thing. I don't enjoy dating and you shouldn't feel bad about not dating at all! It takes time to find someone you're comfortable with!

As we head into adulthood and college and move about, a lot of doors will close for us, and even more will open! Your characters and escapes are a good thing! Learn to love them and bring them into the real world. They may not be physical, but they are very real to you and help you cope. Draw them, write them, make them in a dress up game! Take your time and find the right person to love. Most people don't find anyone until their mid-20's. It's not a rush.

[hjames]

Here's a counterpoint. As a teen I transitioned from avoiding bullies to just doing the things that I enjoyed - mostly by myself. I got horrible advice from my dad that "women would come to me" if I was myself, to take my time, etc.

I'm now in my mid-40's and a big part of my depression is spending hours wondering what could have been in high school or college if I'd done it different.

Mind you, I'm not sure sure I could. But it causes me a ton of grief right now...even that girl who rejected me to the prom - it hurts 25 years later!