[FireBird]

For the last few days, I have been extremely depressed again, the third such time this year alone. It always seems to happen around birthdays. My dad's was on June 13th. The last time I was depressed was on May 5th for a few weeks and then I got better. That was until the two new personalities popped up in the last week. One of them is 2 years old and doesn't know anything yet and the other one is at least 90 and believes she is being controlled by an outside force. Now I have all their thoughts in my head and its driving me crazy! I am unable to function and go to school or get a job. I am nothing. I haven't been eating much lately. I also haven't been building my model airplanes in the last few days because I have been switching too often between my 10 different personalities. On some days I miss 90% of the day. This is the first time today that I'm myself and am able to type. All this is making me feel down about my self. I can't even cry. I haven't been able to cry for months, if not years. During the personalities that I am more aware of, I also ( just like the 90 year old personality) feel an outside force controlling my movements and thoughts. This is mainly true in the "bird" mode where I believe that I can fly. I start flapping my arms and singing like a crazy person. How embarrassing! That also makes me depressed. I believe that the government is controlling me for entertainment as mentioned in a previous post I did awhile back. There are some days where I can't complete a sentence and it comes out all mixed up. I get confused easily. I am currently seeing a therapist, a psychiatrist, and someone who does EMDR for my DID. I also take my pills.

[meander]

Hey Firebird,

got no good advice at the moment sorry, as not too good myself these days, but just wanted to say I feel for you, and let you know somebody's listening. Hopefully someone here at PC will be able to offer some help, keep posting!

[stefano]

Please consider my words as coming from a complete incompetent, but considering that anybody's mind is alike a pool whode bottom is invisible, yours seems to be particularly muddy...
Did you ever try some psychodinamic therapy, some old fashioned psychoanalysis?

[Direction]

I just wanted to let you know that I read your post...not able to offer anything at this time...other then I care...and tell you I'm sure there are others here that have experienced similar experiences...

[bipolar_bear]

Firebird I am sorry that things are so hard. I hope you can get some answers soon.

BB

[Hopefull]

That sounds very scary to me. I hope you can find some help for yourself. I have no idea on how to help you. I wish I did. Feel free to post anytime when you feel like it. If you need to act "crazy", try not to insult yourself or depress yourself about that. If your mind does something odd, it is just what it is doing not a statement on who you are. I suspect everyone's mind does something weird at times. I am just lucky enough that it is just depression and some social anxiety without DID. If I am dead wrong, please forgive me for my lack of expertise.

[recluse1]

so sorry to hear that things are so hard for you lately. i have certain trigger dates also that cause my depression to flare. i dont know much about DID but i just wanted you to know that i am here and i hope you find relief soon. keep posting it is very helpful just to get things off your chest.

recluse1

[Irine]

well i can just join to all the pther posters. and especially i agree with Hopefull.

unltill you except the situation, you are stuck. if you except it you can move on.