[sinking]

Im struggling with accepting the life i have and life itself. this cant be my life! i hate it. and this life we all are supposed to live, this cant be life. i hate them both. how do you accept life itself and the life you have?

i hate being jobless with nothing to do all day and i hate working (any kind of work).
i hate having to see people but then i hate having no friends.
i hate being a single all my life and i've hated being part of a couple for those few months i had a boyfriend.

i hate everything and its opposite. this is making me go insane. i just cant accept life and i wish i could just skip it all and die.

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((( sinking )))))))))

[basicgoodness]

I feel for you, sinking. It sounds like you need to do something about your isolation and idleness. Hanging around the house with nothing to do is a recipe for insanity. I know because that is my situation a lot of the time. I try to get out, bring my laptop to a coffee house just to be around other people. I am starting to reach out to friends for coffee dates. I have hooked up with a meditation community and am meeting people there, taking classes and volunteering. I hope you can find something that will engage you and help get you out of your head.

[sinking]

Thanks, but as i said i have contrasting feelings about being with people or even getting out of the house. i have contrasting feelings for everything and usually wins what costs less energy, so i mostly stay in bed at home.

I feel like ripping my heart out

[ManOfConstantSorrow]

Originally Posted by sinking

Im struggling with accepting the life i have and life itself. this cant be my life! i hate it. and this life we all are supposed to live, this cant be life. i hate them ... this is making me go insane. i just cant accept life and i wish i could just skip it all and die.

This is a good point that you make and I am sure many feel just the same. But I wonder if hating everything is not rather rushing to extremes. I wonder if you perhaps took a more graduated response to life you might find some things were less hateful than others and by focusing on these you might find an iota of comfort in a hurtful existence. Is there anyone you can avoid hating sufficiently long to discuss this?

[Idiot17]

(((((sinking)))))

[sinking]

Thanks.
Im seeing two therapists. one every week and one once a month. i have only one friend which i see every week on sundays but i got quite fed up with her too. i didnt see her last sunday. yes, i guess its all about what i hate less.

at this very moment i just hate being alive. i hate waking up, feeling, thinking, being present, working and doing nothing at home and having no one that im glad to see and nothing that im glad to do. i have lost every interest or enjoyment in things. the only thing i wish i could do is cry and running away from life. i cant believe my life has turned out to be like this.

Im scared to live each and every day