Latest Doctor Attempt

So the first doctor's I called (twice) never called me back.

I've had trouble with no callbacks and then with doctors not taking my insurance (EVERY doctor I've called, I've gotten their name/number from my own insurance company "find a provider" search).

Last doctor told me sometimes the insurance companies pad their lists so they look better to new customers shopping for insurance [isn't that FRAUD???!!!]

And of course between each set of calls I loose energy/hope and have to build my strength up for another round of calls.

I was pointed to a list of doctors... Not from my insurance company, but from an independent site that lists doctors and filters them by the insurance they take. I've been carrying around this new list, BUT

Last week I lost all hope. I told my coworker I no longer had a vision of a doctor making me well or at least putting me on a path toward wellness.

Over the weekend I worked up the energy to call again. So today I found that new list and called the new doctor on it. Can anyone guess what he told me?

He said he wouldn't accept me as a new patient because I lived and worked too far away. I'm about 25 - 30 minutes from his office. There are no doctors closer on the list.

He said in his experience someone with 2 hour round trip plus session time starts out fine but then their job isn't so forgiving about them missing work, and it doesn't work out.

HOW ABOUT YOU LET ME WORRY ABOUT HOW MUCH WORK I MISS?

DO YOU THINK MY WORK WOULD MISS ME FOR HALF A DAY MORE THAN THE SPORADIC ABSENCES I'M HAVING NOW? OR WORSE, MISSING WORK FOREVER BECAUSE I'VE HURT MYSELF?

Then he said he didn't like my insurance anyway because they are a pain to deal with.

Of course I didn't argue with him, I said thank you and hung up.

He managed to completely drain all of my hope and energy for today so that I had to leave work and come home. He said the only way he would take me would be evenings but he didn't have any evening hours available.

So now he's put it in my head that I need to find a doctor that will call me back, take my insurance, and has evening hours.

Home now just drained and hopeless.

And my friend at work I tried to talk to him on Friday and I just made everything worse so I apologized today and think I just keep pushing things worse underground. Maybe not but certainly not better.

Yes, there is a law that require insurance companies keep a CURRENT list of providers.

"Current list of providers plus names that might have been on the list a hundred years ago but aren't anymore and for good measure some extra names that they just made up" is how they interpret that law apparently

Exasperated and drained.

You're apparently trying to locate a psychiatrist. All they do is dispense pills, which your GP can do as well. If you are not looking for medication, then why not look for a psychotherapist, who are more numerous and easier to get in to see? I've found that cold calling psychiatrists is an exercise in futility. I got into see mine through a referral from my therapist. His answering machine says he is not taking new patients, but in reality he is just very picky about who he takes on.

sorry to hear about how hard this is going for you
just wanted to share I found a nurse practitioner who is part of a behavioral health center and she prescribes my meds. there is also a psychiatrist but it is easier to get in to see the NP, at least when I started. and she is very helpful.
initially I went to my gp who made a call to the center and referred me there.
hope maybe that helps. good luck

No basicgoodness I'm looking for a therapist. I'm reluctant to go on meds again but I have been determined to keep an open mind based on recommendation and referral of a psychologist.

Ironically the therapist who rejected me today recommended that I find a psychiatrist in the area.

I am not looking at medication as a first course of action here. I just want to get started in therapy before I spiral out of control. Today I feel as though that may be behind me. Contemplating calling for a trip to the ER (not right now, but making plans if it gets to that point) but it pains me to think of taking time from the people at emergency services when all I ****ing want is to start with a therapist before I get too deep.

OMG sorry for the curseword above is there any way to edit?

And sorry if I sounded angry in my replies basic goodness and Smile... I *AM* angry and frustrated but not at you people who are offering suggestions to help. I appreciate your replies. I'm in a place right now where my instinct seems to push people away when all I want right now is some human acknowlegement looking for that today IRL and just failing miserable.

No problem, dexter. I can appreciate your frustration. Would your insurance allow you to just pick a therapist, pay them out of pocket and submit a claim for reimbursement (albeit at a lower rate than someone "in network" or whatever)? That's what I do. I have never been to a therapist that "accepts" insurance. It's a cash business.

My old therapist from 10 years ago was paid by my insurance, I only had a small copay with him.

All of the therapists I'm calling now take insurance... Just not mine.

This sounds so frustrating and depressing my paws are crossed for you

Thanks for clarifying. I hope you find a decent therapist soon. In the meantime, hang in there.

One day at a time. Today's day hasn't gone so well. Hoping tomorrow's day will be better.