[ColonelPutin]

I feel so lost, and empty. I've lost absolutely everything I care about. I'm for certain I'm about to lose the girl who I love dearly and if I lose her then I'm done. I will not survive, i once had depression about 4 years ago and I'm beginning to feel it creep back into my life only x100 worse.

I'm scared of what I will become if I lose her, I don't have any friends anymore, nobody loves me, my phone is dry, it's like if I disappeared completely nobody would know or care. I just want to be loved, I'm not a bad person, I just want to know someone loves me. I feel so hurt and empty, somebody please help me. I dot wanna lose myself. I'm so lonely and I have nothing to look forward to anymore.

Life sucks, I just wanna be happy, I haven't had that in such a long time, genuine happiness, I keep pushing the girl I love away by crying out for help, I need your support badly, I'm scared of what's gonna happen to me, really really scared. I just need some support, stability and friends. I miss feeling loved, I really do. I just wanna be happy again. Everything feels so dark. Please help me.

[Rohag]

Hello & Welcome, ColonelPutin. Please make yourself at home here.

Losses of various kinds are inevitable, but some losses are crushing and, having already experienced a depressive episode, it's all the easier for depression to reappear.

One opinion among many: Allow yourself to grieve losses. During the grief, try to avoid forcing yourself to look ahead. Vision tends to return in time. Care for yourself in as many ways as possible.

Consider also posting about this in the Relationships & Communication Forum.

You have worth with or without your girlfriend. You have worth with or without other people. Life has worth with AND without other people.

[Icantthinkof1]

Hi. I know exactly how you are feeling right now. I am sorry that you are having to endure this. I dont understand why things are the way they are. I wish I did. I wish there was a sentence or something I could say that would make everything better. But I'm not sure if that's possible. I cant help myself so I just wanna help you instead. We are going through similar feelings so I guess apart of me feels like maybe if I can help you I can help myself..idk.. Just try to work up the energy to develop at the least one handful of hope to get you just to the end of the day, then when you go to sleep tonight try to reenergize yourself as you sleep so the next day when you wake you can try once again and just get a handful of hope to get you to the end of the day again. And if you can't get a even a handful then just know that I have a whole basket full of hope for you. I believe that you can get past this time in your life and once you do you will be a better stronger person. I know how it feels to have a dry phone and no friends to talk to. I want to be your friend and be there for you so if you ever, anytime need a friend to talk to about absolutely anything, anything. Feel free to PM me - a friend

[Fuzzybear]

Thinking of you, please keep posting
(I agree with Rohag )

[dexter]

Colonel I also push people away. Then I get angry that they are away. The pushing away of people to isolate oneself I believe is a classic symptom of depression. Knowing that doesn't make the pain of loneliness any less though.

I really like what Rohag said. Care for yourself. We are here to listen, hope we can help.

[leroysavoy]

I understand you love this girl very dearly. It's far better to generate self love. If your love is based off of external pillars, when the object leaves, so does your love. Far better to love yourself first.

Happines is a very tricky subject. I like to see it as a feeling rather than a thought. A feeling can only be felt in the body, not the mind. I think Happiness is a connection. Feeling connected to people and God. It gets hard when one tries to separate oneself and disconnect from everything.

It would be helpful for you to find out how you translate the word love. Google five love languages. It would revolutionize your relationship. It did to mine

[ColonelPutin]

Thank you for the kind words and thoughts so far, I'll definitely Google five love languages, I'll go ahead and post this in that other forum too. I'm gonna keep fighting, I'm struggling but I'm working hard and fighting for what I love, I'll keep y'all posted on what is going on, thanks for everything so far.

[ColonelPutin]

Originally Posted by leroysavoy

I understand you love this girl very dearly. It's far better to generate self love. If your love is based off of external pillars, when the object leaves, so does your love. Far better to love yourself first.

Happines is a very tricky subject. I like to see it as a feeling rather than a thought. A feeling can only be felt in the body, not the mind. I think Happiness is a connection. Feeling connected to people and God. It gets hard when one tries to separate oneself and disconnect from everything.

It would be helpful for you to find out how you translate the word love. Google five love languages. It would revolutionize your relationship. It did to mine

Is 5 love languages a book? By Gary Chapman?

Originally Posted by ColonelPutin

Is 5 love languages a book? By Gary Chapman?

That's the one I know - really great book. I downloaded the audio book from the public library, which may be an option for you.

[ColonelPutin]

Originally Posted by Onward

That's the one I know - really great book. I downloaded the audio book from the public library, which may be an option for you.

I went ahead and downloaded it off the internet, I'm gonna start reading it in the morning, hopefully this will help salvage my relationship while I still have the chance