Feeling guilty about being depressed.

And I feel awful. I feel depressed and feel like I should just die and all those other depressive thoughts but then I feel so guilty for feeling this way. It's because I know if I kill myself my boyfriend would feel so hurt by everything and he'll get sad. I don't want him to be sad. Then I feel guilty which makes me more depressed. It's a whole cycle and I can't break out of it.

Before this relationship I really didn't care if I died. Nobody would be sad other than my boyfriend now if I were to die. Sometimes I just want to break-up with him so he can get over me just so I can just kill myself in peace.

I don't even know how to cope with this. Sometimes I think my depression is all in my head and I'm a liar and faker which makes me hate myself even more. I haven't even told my boyfriend about my depression because I don't want to burden him with my issues. Don't even know what time is a good time to tell him (I haven't officially been diagnosed with depression because my family doesn't believe in mental illnesses so sometimes I feel like I'm not obliged to tell him).

I just feel so pathetic and awful. Life is ****.

If there was one person you could go to and tell how you're feeling, even if it is trapped, and you would like some comfort, maybe going to your boyfriend could be a way for you two to become a little bit closer.

you don't have to pour everything out at once, but if you are going to, then prepare yourself for telling whatever and however much you feel like telling him. You aren't wrong for feeling scared, and don't ever feel scared to talk about it either. if you can share with your bf then don't be afraid to share with him how you are really feeling. Baby steps, everything in baby steps until your ready. You got this, don't give up on yourself <3

no one should feel guilty about being depressed.

sometimes their's no reason for it at all- it's just 1 of those things that happens sometimes

none of us want to feel like it, but we still do

I get this as well. It goes around and around in my head that I'm a fake and there's nothing wrong actually wrong with me and I feel incredibly guilty. I have told my psychiatrist this a thousand times that I'm a disgrace for wasting her time and each time she has reassured me that I'm actually quote seriously ill. I guess it's just a cruel symptom of our illness :-(