Thinking bleak thoughts about the future

I know it’s not healthy to dwell on the future, but I can’t help thinking that things are going to pretty much go to **** in about 5-10 years.

I’m 30, so I figure by then most of my friends will be married and/or have kids, and I’ll effectively lose most of them because they’ll be too busy with that. I doubt I’ll have overcome my fear of rejection and fear of intimacy enough to be married or in a serious relationship myself. At the same time, my parents will be getting old and maybe starting to put demands on me. A lot of the things I enjoy (e.g. sports and outdoor activities) will be harder to do as frequently.

I don’t really have any long-term goals at this point, either, so there really isn’t anything I’m looking forward to accomplishing several years down the road. In general, I just seem to want to avoid responsibility whenever possible. I quit my last job because I got a promotion I didn't want. I fear committed relationships because I think I'll feel trapped. And so forth. The thing is, you’re expected to want those things, or else you kinda get marginalized.

A lot of times I feel like I just wasn’t meant to be an adult.

No one knows what the future holds. You may find the perfect partner ideal job or a lorry might run you over. Live for the present. Thirty is actually quite young. As my Irish cousins say, 'you are old enough for long enough'.

I know how you feel. If you are not "doing what everyone else is doing" there must be something wrong with you. No way is that true! I think a lot of people are unhappy in marriages. Granted some people are happy, yes. But life is definitely really difficult. It is not easy. I also left a job that my family thought would be great for me, but it was not for me. I wasn't about to stay stuck just because it was a job that looked good on paper but did nothing for me personally. If I were you I would think of things you used to like to do when you were younger, and see if you can translate it into having a job that incorporates some of your likes so you will feel more inspired. Hope this helped and didn't sound too preachy.

I get your fears. I am married, but we have no kids and so many friends have drifted away because of that. Now I'm older, many people my age have grown up kids so they have more time to be friends with childless people.

I know many people who wish they never got married, and some who now realise they're better off single.

Idon't think this will help much, they're just thoughts.

I really feel for you, you sound so lonely.

There's little I can do, but I am trying to send as many caring thoughts your way as I can.