depressed (day1)

I'm not sure what is wrong with me

I was never depressed before, but there is a lot going on in my life that is stressing me out, but my entire life has been stress.....

I recently been self medicating, on and off pain pills, suboxone, meth, weed, alcohol.....

its the closest ive come to being a daily addict....

maybe I messed up my brain chemistry ?

ive been sober for about a week, minus a relapse on alcohol 3 days ago....

I went from being very motivated and high energy yesterday and day before, and then today I'm sad, feeling down, and been in bed all day.

I hope I'm not falling into a depression that lasts weeks or months.

I just started 3mg Risperdal march 3rd. before that I been on Xanax for a few months, and off other meds for about a year.

Hello GeneticallyBlessed: Yes, it seems like that's the way it frequently is for me as well. Some days I do pretty well. Then suddenly I'll just lose all energy & motivation. Over time, I've just come to realize that this is the way it is for me. I don't really worry too much about the possibility of it turning into a more long-term depression, although I suppose it could happen. I hope you find it possible to relieve the stress in your life & that you are able to recover your motivation.

thanks skeezyks.... I think if I force myself to do something around the house that might help, so going to try doing something now. my dad just came over to talk, he told me that it might take a few weeks for my brain to bounce back from the drugs.

update : I think I am feeling depressed today because I am overwhelmed with things to do and there is a lot of stress in my life....

I folded some laundry, and took a really hot shower, plus took a Xanax....

and I am feeling better,

I went to 711 and bought a white chocolate mocha....

and plan on writing a list of things that need to be done, and doing a few things tonight.

i may be mistaking... but when you go on a binge - or whatever you might call it... for few weeks or months or how ever long..
and then stop using - your chemicals do get screwey and can cause depression...
thinking its part of withdrawal... just because your brain isn't being flooded with all those goodies... if that might make sense..? can do a couple google searches on withdrawal and depression - depression and addiction... that type of thing...

sorry you feeling bad ...

yes i am going to research it tomorrow.

i got a lot done tonight after i took the Xanax, hot shower, and white chocolate mocha.

hope i can keep it up

Hi GeneticallyBlessed,

I've been having depression since I was 8 and now i'm 31. My depression went like on and off over times. But I don't really worry about long term depression because I strongly believe it will never last forever. As much as it comes, it will definitely go away one day. It helps if u set your mind like that. So, I hope u won't worry too much. Plus, depression is really good in making us think negatively. It's good that u're reaching out here. Though the only thing we can do is giving out encouragement and advise, hopefully it will makes u feel better. Stay strong and positive. <<lots of hugs>>

Sometimes just getting through each day requires almost superhuman strength ~ Excerpt from After You by Jojo Moyes

thanks I think sleeping good amount of hours helps too, which I haven't been able to do. I was up until 5am from the mocha I had last night. my therapist thought me a relaxation meditation technique this morning.