[emijec]

I'm struggling with depression.. all the stuff that make others happy around me I don't have: family, kids, stability, etc. it makes me feel worse... there's only so many times I can hide in the bathroom for a minute or 2. I know listening to music can help but I avoid it like the plague right now.

how do you cope? I need ideas.

Try not to compare yourself. Easier said than done, but it can really help and take a load off. Do you want these things? If so is it because you want them or because society says you should have them? If you truly want these things, take a mini step towards it. For instance stability..maybe look at apartments online. I don't know your situation. But in general, when I feel shtty, I try to be gentle with myself. Not hard on myself or beat myself up. Make a list of 3 things that made you smile, on the outside or on tue inside today. Hang in there.

[little turtle]

Originally Posted by emijec

I'm struggling with depression.. all the stuff that make others happy around me I don't have: family, kids, stability, etc. it makes me feel worse... there's only so many times I can hide in the bathroom for a minute or 2. I know listening to music can help but I avoid it like the plague right now.

how do you cope? I need ideas.

what happened

[DesigningWoman]

This is something I do, which works for me. Instead of music, I listen to stand up comedy. There are a lot of specials to listen to free on YouTube or comedy albums for purchase. Unlike tv or movies, you can listen to it at a desk on a smart phone like music with no need to see the screen. I actually find it much more pleasant than music. I have a couple of favorite comedians to listen too. After I listen to the routine once, I don't find it distracting anymore. Even if I feel awful listening to favorite jokes makes me remember what it is like to laugh. Hearing the audience laugh makes me feel less alone.
Just a thought.
Working depressed feels awful at least with comedy the time passes a bit more quickly.

[emijec]

Originally Posted by little turtle

what happened

well, I sunk into depression after a breakup.. it was unhealthy. I used to be resilient. not anymore. 3rd time with depression. started a new job, the day I got dumped, I was unemployed for a while. an ex co worker that I briefly worked with died of cancer the same day, he was my boss's son. he was 30. cancer came by and swept him up. it made me feel sad and selfish for feeling the way I do. it made me realize I was alone now., Im over here complaining about getting dumped ... I think it's hard to bottle up the feelings but I have to put my best so I don't get canned. I have school debt, etc. I catch myself sometimes ripping at the seams.

the irony is my job is non profit and tailored towards promoting mental health early prevention. it's not the demographic I fit in for services. I'd like to do sliding scale at my clinic but they book monthly appointments and well I have 3 months worth of bills past due.