[JohnCrow]

I was so happy when I got that job offer and so lost when it collapsed

I look in the mirror and all I see is someone looking at me with complete contempt

I, more than ever, wish I was not

I am not suicidal for the simple reason i would **** it up and be worse off, not even having potential

Just when I thought things could not get worse, they did. I cannot get to sleep and then I cannot wake up. My motivation has ht zero, job searching is like having a really ****** job with unending hours, boring conditions and no feedback

You don't know what you are doing wrong and have no way to find out

My mood sure as shooting ain't helping. They say if you are desperate, no one will hire you. Well, thanks heaps

That takes the tension right off

[guiltier65]

I'm sorry John. I wish I had all of the right words to say, but I don't. I hope that you can get the rest you need soon.

[Misssy2]

Originally Posted by JohnCrow

I was so happy when I got that job offer and so lost when it collapsed

I look in the mirror and all I see is someone looking at me with complete contempt

I, more than ever, wish I was not

I am not suicidal for the simple reason i would **** it up and be worse off, not even having potential

Just when I thought things could not get worse, they did. I cannot get to sleep and then I cannot wake up. My motivation has ht zero, job searching is like having a really ****** job with unending hours, boring conditions and no feedback

You don't know what you are doing wrong and have no way to find out

My mood sure as shooting ain't helping. They say if you are desperate, no one will hire you. Well, thanks heaps

That takes the tension right off

Your not alone I feel the SAME way and like the way you put it into words..Can't sleep and can't wake up. UGH.

The job thing...I can't even bring myself to look for fear of rejection. I give you kudos for continuing to try.

I am going to lose everything I worked for ...for all these years. Which sends a person into debilitating depression.

Curious..what happened with getting a job...and then having it fall thru? That has to be the worst feeling.

Luckily you don't have any substance abuse problems? Or do you?

I do...and I'm trying so hard not to drink..but it seems everyday keeps slapping me in the face!

[basicgoodness]

I am so sorry your job fell through. I am employed but just barely and would like to change my situation. I came close to finding something new recently, but the job went to someone else. I really need to change my situation, but it is really hard when you have zero self-esteem and feel so beaten down.

[JohnCrow]

Originally Posted by Misssy2

Luckily you don't have any substance abuse problems? Or do you?

I do...and I'm trying so hard not to drink..but it seems everyday keeps slapping me in the face!

Luckily I do not

I had two alcoholic parents and did not like what it did to them. Losing my self is my greatest fear. It is why I never do drugs (I have done some, but not in decades. One bad incident soured me on it)

Also, all alcohol, except gin, tastes absolutely terrible to me. Wine is like rancid grape juice, most clear booze tastes like sharp mouthwash and beer like someone peed in a badly soured soft drink. Gin merely tastes like i am licking a pine tree, but with tonic I can tolerate it so I won't embarrass people at a bar by not drinking at all

I do feel its call. Alcoholism runs through my family liked a greased pig through a herd of hillbillies

Be strong. We all have our demons and they are all mean drunks

[JohnCrow]

Originally Posted by basicgoodness

I am so sorry your job fell through. I am employed but just barely and would like to change my situation. I came close to finding something new recently, but the job went to someone else. I really need to change my situation, but it is really hard when you have zero self-esteem and feel so beaten down.

I want you to say this:

This is not how things should be, this is not my fault
Life is not fair; bad things do happen to good people
Sometimes you can do everything right and still fail
Sometimes people do everything wrong and win
nec spe, nec metu