I am actively planning my end. And at the same time trying to delay it. I know it is wrong. It's wrong for me to take this way out, but at the same time I have been battling this for so ****ing long. Why should I keep fighting? I'm exhausted of it all. I want to disappear.

But, as always, I have made plans of things to look forward to, to prevent me from taking this measure. For now anyway. Although I'm not sure these things will be enough to stop me. Time will tell I guess.

[Basspro85]

Don't give in. I know things can get hard. But please don't. Things can get better. Do you have anyone you can talk to? Friends, family counsellor?

Sent from my SM-G900W8 using Tapatalk

[IrisBloom]

Please get to the ER if you are in danger of hurting yourself or anyone else.

[PiRit94]

Just hold on. Don't give up. Life can be hard at times but you have to keep fighting. Why? Because your alive and your life is precious. Things happen for a reason. And tomorrow may bring a new hope for you.

Just continue with your life and try to enjoy it. You are here for a reason and you're important. Stay strong and have faith.

[Skeezyks]

Hello Halloween Skye: Well... I guess I'm not one to tell you not to do this as I've made a couple of attempts as well. But I really hope you don't go through with it. I guess it's selfish of me... & realistically... in all likelihood I won't know if you do. But I've already lost one internet acquaintance to suicide. I don't want to even contemplate the possibility that there might be another. I am glad to hear that you're also planning things to look forward to. I hope that you can use them to leap over & beyond your desire to just end it all. Please take care...

please consider phoning your local crisis centre or getting yourself to the emergency room.

[1976kitchenfloor]

Originally Posted by HalloweenSkye

I am actively planning my end. And at the same time trying to delay it. I know it is wrong. It's wrong for me to take this way out, but at the same time I have been battling this for so ****ing long. Why should I keep fighting? I'm exhausted of it all. I want to disappear.

But, as always, I have made plans of things to look forward to, to prevent me from taking this measure. For now anyway. Although I'm not sure these things will be enough to stop me. Time will tell I guess.

Hello Dear,

Tell someone NOW if you are planning suicide. we dont want to lose you. Those loved ones you mention dont want to lose you.

I send my love and support and wrap my arms around you in your pain because I know how black things can seem when depression covers over and drags us down.

You have reached out on this site and that is a good start. That tells me you dont really want to give up, rather you just dont want to live with such bleak despair anymore. That is understandable. Depression is exhausting in every wy.

Hold on and use that plan you have that keeps your head above water and when you need more than that get outside help, please.

you dont need to be alone with this. talk to people and ask for help let them know you're really really having a hard time hanging on.

Wow. Don't think I was expecting these responses. Don't know what I was expecting really. Thanks guys

[Pikku Myy]

Please get help sweetie. I went thru some rough years and learned the best place for me was isolation for several weeks so I got somewhat balanced. Life is much better now

Well I made a right mess of that.

Possible trigger:

threw up everything I just took, now my throat and mouth is burning

I don't even know what happened. Thought I was some what in control. Don't know what to

[IrisBloom]

Please get to the hospital. You are worth saving

[amandalouise]

HolloweenSkye...I did not reply to your active suicide post last night because of these notices here in the depression forum by the administration of the site...

"Just a gentle reminder... No suicidal posts, please. (What does this mean?) Thank you."

What We Mean by "No Suicidal Posts, Please"

when you click on the link in the notice you will find this post..

We're okay with people discussing their somewhat vague thoughts or feelings they have about wanting to commit suicide. Such posts should be marked with a trigger icon when made, and usually posted here in the Depression forum.

We're not okay with people discussing their specific intentions, plans, methods, or such in a way to suggest they are currently in crisis and in need of immediate assistance. So we do not allow talk of specific plans, methods, or intentions. We're not a crisis hotline, and are not setup to deal with people in such immediate need. We believe that when a person is at that point, they should reach out for a real-world resource in getting help.

Further Suicide Resources

If you need more support for feeling actively suicidal than our community can provide, we maintain a list of online and community-based suicide resources. We keep all of our resources in indexed lists that are regularly reviewed and updated under the "Resources" main menu item (under our logo there). Scroll down and you'll see a category called "Suicide and Crises."

Get crisis help online right now via chat:

CrisisChat - Home

On your smartphone:

Crisis Text Line

Or through a telephone call:

Lifeline
Suicide.org: Suicide Prevention, Suicide Awareness, Suicide Support - Suicide.org! Suicide.org! Suicide.org!
IMAlive | An Online Crisis Network
http://www.suicideforum.com/

Best,
DocJohn

may I suggest you use the resources that Doc John has posted and also suggest like others have stated contact a treatment provider.

here on psychcentral we cant do much to help a person that is doing things to commit suicide while they are posting. for some people it can trigger their own suicidal actions (which is most likely why we are not supposed to post while trying to harm ourselfs.)

to give you an example I was so upset and feeling so helpless that I could not help you I reported the post using the report button and I located a moderator that was online at the point where you were planning and acting on your suicide intentions, letting them know there was an active suicide going on on the forum and then I got off the internet and contacted my own treatment providers, others here may not be able to take the self care steps that I did.

please contact your treatment providers.. we are not allowed to act as another members treatment providers making sure they come out of their suicidal states and to put it bluntly imagine how others here that did reply to you or have read your post would have felt if they had woke up today to a notice that you had succeeded. if you cant imagine that you can read about when other members here have died in the grief forum.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Skeezyks

Hello Halloween Skye: Well... I guess I'm not one to tell you not to do this as I've made a couple of attempts as well. But I really hope you don't go through with it. I guess it's selfish of me... & realistically... in all likelihood I won't know if you do. But I've already lost one internet acquaintance to suicide. I don't want to even contemplate the possibility that there might be another. I am glad to hear that you're also planning things to look forward to. I hope that you can use them to leap over & beyond your desire to just end it all. Please take care...

Sorry, I realise I put you in an awkward position last night. When I made the initial post I wasn't intending to act on the urges so soon, things just kind of spiralled and got out of control.

I have spoken to my care coordinator today, she knows what happened. Just gonna see how it goes I gusss

[Bill3]

I agree with the others that you are important and I value you as a member of this site. Please do stay in regular contact with your care coordinator and therapist.

(((((HalloweenSkye)))))