[dysphoricspirit]

I don't want to live, I don't want to... You know....

I'm depressed as hell but functioning normally, but it's a battle, I fear I'm losing the fight. I don't remember what my hopes and expectations were, I look horrible, I look way older than I am. I'm a lonely person, the only reason I'm alive and want to stay alive is because I care about my parents, they brought me up, they took care of me for so long. I want to make them happy.

I'm angry, I'm frustrated, I'm sad. I have "friends", they casually make fun of me about my appearance. It pisses me off so much.

Life feels like purgatory to me. I have no one to comfort me, my mom isn't doing so well either and my whining and moaning depresses her even further.

[Fuzzybear]

I suggest you ditch those "friends"...

As you already feel so alone it's probably better to have no "friends" than to be "badly accompanied" (by those so called "friends" )

For what it's worth, many of us here could be more compassionate and "real" than those so called "friends" of yours IRL

I don't have answers, if I had, I prolly wouldn't be posting this

[Skeezyks]

Hello dysphoricspirit: I'm so sorry you are struggling. I have some sense of what you are feeling. I also have no interest in living any longer. I'm sad, frustrated, angry, anxious & just generally worn out. In my case, I'm married & my spouse has no one in the world but me. So I have to keep living for her.

Like you... I function normally (more-or-less...) The fortunate thing for me is that I'm an older person myself & I've aged into my retirement years. So I no longer have to "perform" at work. (Not that I had done so anyway for a long time.) I have no friends, by choice. I'm pretty-much completely solitary at this point.

Yes... it is sort of like purgatory. Every day I wonder how much longer I can keep this up. But every day... I do... I send healing thoughts your way with the hope that you will be able to find deep peace within...

[basicgoodness]

I am sorry that you have no one to comfort you. I hope you (and I) can learn to comfort ourselves. I'm glad that you want to stay alive, even if only for your parents. May you be free from pain.

[lavendersage]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

I suggest you ditch those "friends"...

As you already feel so alone it's probably better to have no "friends" than to be "badly accompanied" (by those so called "friends" )

For what it's worth, many of us here could be more compassionate and "real" than those so called "friends" of yours IRL

I don't have answers, if I had, I prolly wouldn't be posting this

I agree with fuzzy: true friends are supportive or, at the very least, don't add to our struggles!

Fuzzy, you are underestimating your contribution here: your words were well-said!

[dysphoricspirit]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

I suggest you ditch those "friends"...

As you already feel so alone it's probably better to have no "friends" than to be "badly accompanied" (by those so called "friends" )

For what it's worth, many of us here could be more compassionate and "real" than those so called "friends" of yours IRL

I don't have answers, if I had, I prolly wouldn't be posting this

They're drawn to me, and like my company, they know I am one of the few that will help them out when in need, wish they could just leave me alone or learn to be more compassionate.

Thank you for your post.

[dysphoricspirit]

Originally Posted by basicgoodness

I am sorry that you have no one to comfort you. I hope you (and I) can learn to comfort ourselves. I'm glad that you want to stay alive, even if only for your parents. May you be free from pain.

I will try to do so. Thank you very much.