[defenestratedmuse]

I went through a very dark period several decades ago. I went to therapy, I got help, I became functional again. I've been fine for years, with occasional dark patches here and there. Lately, though, I've been increasingly troubled. This time, though, there's a serious trust barrier. I don't really trust anyone, even a therapist, to really care what's going on with me. I don't really have anyone I consider a full-fledged friend, at least not someone who's willing to just let me vent and cry and scream. My spouse tries, but that's one person and I don't feel right pouring everything there.

Does anyone else feel like this?

[Skeezyks]

Hello defenesttratedmuse: I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral... from the Skeezyks! I hope you find whatever amount of time you spend here to be of benefit.

You mentioned having been through a very dark period several decades ago. So I presume you are, perhaps, a bit older? Personally I think this trust issue you mention is something that becomes more of an issue as we get a few more years under our belts, so to speak. I know I certainly have it. I don't see a therapist. I've tried a few over the years. But I never found one I thought was worth the effort... or the expense!

I'm pretty-much solitary nowadays, by choice. So I have no friends or even acquaintances really. You mentioned your spouse. I'm married as well. However, my spouse really just doesn't want anything to do with what's going on with me. She's a master at just sucking it up & trudging on... & she expects me to do the same... so I do... as best I can. It's a struggle. But being here on PC helps.

[Frankbtl]

Hi defenestratedmuse,

And another welcome to PC!!!

If you look around here a bit you'll see that this is a real good place to vent and express all of those "difficult" feelings without judgement, and with understanding and empathy from others

But the trust issue...........is that partly from the things/feelings you're dealing with right now?? As in why should anyone really care, what makes you special/worthy of anyone really caring?? Depression can certainly make you feel that way...........but that is the depression talking.............
And maybe you've been "let down" by others...........or seen a lack of understanding/caring in others..........if so you might be very right there, not everyone really "gets"/understands depression...........but some do, and you'll find plenty of those people on here, and caring and support as well

As for a T...........well understandable you might not throw trust, particularly with your innermost feelings, in a "stranger", and you shouldn't!!
But maybe if you could start off by getting a feeling of them as a person and how they intend to help you..........and see if they can bridge that gap a little, see if they can build that trust??? And let that take as much time as you need/want to decide on how much they truly care about you/about helping you??

But for now, I'm glad you're here
And I hope in time, if you stick around, you'll be able to see the real caring in people on here as I've seen it.
And again........welcome!!!!



Alison

[Fizzyo]

Hi and welcome to PC.

I too find I have issues and thoughts I don't want to burden husband or friends with beyond a certain point.

This place has met this need in a lot of ways, I can rant, and rant, and people care. One of the community liaison team has also been of immeasurable help. Also I find a sense of relief responding to other posts and it reminds me that I'm not alone and there is some good in me.

People here have helped me through some dark times and I hope you get as much encouragement from this community as I have!