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#1
May 10, 2016, 09:44 AM
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All these ups and downs are so difficult!
I was hopeful last week. Started to feel better. Woke up on Sunday and after breakfast, sadness overcame me once again. I could feel it and I couldn't stop it. I started having suicidal thoughts again which made me feel bad since I haven't felt that way after my recovery from depression several years back. The thoughts are gone now but the fatigue is back! I don't know. Maybe, I'm just totally burnt out! Which is why I keep having ups and downs. I called in sick yesterday. Decided to take a mental health day. I haven't told my boss about depression. I just say I'm not feeling well. But I'm back at work today but the motivation is nowhere to be found.  I'm on vacation in 2 weeks. I just have to hang in there until then. I really need this time off and I plan on enjoying my Europe trip with my friend. |
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#2
May 10, 2016, 05:05 PM
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The vacation in two weeks is something for you to look forward to. Getting away to Europe may help give you a new perspective.
I understand the ups and downs. Wait long enough and a down will go up or an up will go down. 
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#3
May 11, 2016, 03:22 PM
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I feel for you.
For me, there is a fine line between going to work and not... On any given morning, I could easily call in sick. Ironically, I would get almost as much done if I did call in sick as when I fight that temptation and go in. Enjoy your time off. It could be exactly what you need right now. |
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#4
May 11, 2016, 11:58 PM
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Unfortunately, life is just a bit of a roller coaster, but with depression, those dips can get pretty big and pretty sketchy.
You are definitely not alone, my friend. I think it would definitely be a good idea to tell your boss about the depression. It's not something to be ashamed of, and doesn't make you less of a human. It just means you are like anyone else, not perfect, not having everything all together, and searching for a way to get through this crazy life. Good luck, my friend. Hang in there. I believe in you! 
__________________
Yes. Jesus is the reason I am still alive today.  Diagnoses: MDD, BPD, PTSD, OCD, AN-BP (I don't define myself by my personal alphabet up there, but I put it there so that maybe somebody won't feel so alone )
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#5
May 12, 2016, 01:22 PM
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Thanks everyone. I'm hanging in there and I'm seriously hoping this trip will make me feel better. Kind of worried it will makes me feel more burnt out when it's time to come back. It's a vicious cycle!
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 Stronger
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