I assume many of you also have a reocurring cycle of your moods. My own worst time of year is the onset of summer. I become gripped with Depression. It has been bad enough some years I can't cope and have been hospitalized.

My own triggers are seeing the signs of other people's ability to adventure; like bikes, canoes, and kayaks on vehicle roof racks. Even advertisements for outdoor gear and hiking footwear trigger me. Last week I had a provincial parks publication in my mailbox. I cried for hours even though I refused to open it.

I not only feel Depressed but a measure of resentment sweeps over me too.

This change of mood has me worried. Wintertime I battled Anxiety rather successfully. The skills I learned in therapy though don't seem to translate to coping with Depression.

I hate that this happens to me.

[basicgoodness]

Do you feel that way because you are unable to participate in these outdoor activities?

[DayAtATime1]

JustAFriend - I know exactly how you feel! I am saddened when I see other people enjoying life while I am on the sideline watching. I am so envious that they have some semblance of "normalcy" in their life. I used to do things (kayak, racquetball) and had hobbies, but lost all interest over the last 3 years. All I can do is hope that someday this veil of darkness will lift and I'll want to participate in this game of life...

Originally Posted by basicgoodness

Do you feel that way because you are unable to participate in these outdoor activities?

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
I have no way of partcipating in these things because I have no money to do so. I can't afford to license my car so have no way to transport my kayaks. Before I got sick I was quite the adventurer. I lived amongst mountains and forests near ocean and lakes. Now I live on a dreary prairie. With no money a visit is impossible. That is the person I am, deep in my heart and soul; an outdoors woman living one adventure after another. Today, my biggest adventure is the walk to the grocery store.

People please. Don't tell me - as my family and psychiatrist do - to simply go for a walk or fnd a park. Like that is supposed to replace the experience of climbing a mountian?

In the last eight years it seems like spring going into summer has not been very kind for me. I've had depression and anxiety during that season. Also I've had medical procedures at this time of year and bad things have happened. I was hoping that this year would be an exception, but it has not been so far.

I know the feeling of seeing others having fun. At this time of year I have to have the windows open at where I live and I can hear all kinds of noise. Plus there are a couple of houses on the other side of the alleyway that I live at that are families. So they would have their stuff going on in their back yards (that faces me) with all kinds of kids and guests. All of that going on while I feel cooped up and alone. And they are very loud, too.

Maybe by September, things might get better. One can only hope.

How can I explain...

It is more than just watching others have fun. It is about my being, my soul, my existence. One way to describe it would be a faithful church goer being suddenly prevented from doing so. A collector of old cars being told they are not allowed to look at them. An avid reader being disallowed from touching a book. It is about lifestyle not about having fun. I belong in the forest and on the waters. Looking out at city and knowing all that surrounds it is flat prairie for hours and hours and hours drive all around is like a prison cell to me.

I imagine that it is, in a way, mourning or grieving.

I am sorry. I mourn the person I used to be. I think we can only hope that time will make things a little easier to bear.

And we can't lose hope, ever.

Well it happened. Several things yesterday triggered depression and dark thoughts yesterday. I got a catalog in the mail from an outdoor outfitter and absolutely crumbled. A memory in y Facebook feed reinforced the sadness. And, I broke down at my support group last night. Someone talked about camping.

I am so very scared this won't lift and is the beginning of Depression. I can't stand this.

Someone close to me just told me to stop living in my past and move on. I know they thought they were being helpful. He is an avid motorcyclist. His bike is his baby, he rides whenever he can, and collects memorabelia. I suggested to him he give up his bike and walk away from his collection - that the only contact he can have with motorcycles is the ocassional picture. That shut him up.

Originally Posted by justafriend306

Someone close to me just told me to stop living in my past and move on. I know they thought they were being helpful. He is an avid motorcyclist. His bike is his baby, he rides whenever he can, and collects memorabelia. I suggested to him he give up his bike and walk away from his collection - that the only contact he can have with motorcycles is the ocassional picture. That shut him up.

Good for you for expressing yourself! If they could get a clear picture by example on what you're gong through, then they would understand.

Agree with will19...

People shouldn't tell you how you should be feeling. And they shouldn't offer advice on how to get to that place unless they have been there.

I am, btw, perhaps guilty of doing that here and I regret it very much. I should just be offering support and understanding.

It's tough when you have depression to take advice from someone (a non-professional person, anyways) who hasn't been there. It's absolutely not as cut-and-dried as a physical illness.

I hope things improve a little for you. I hope that by posting you can at least ease your mind a little that you are not alone.

[with or without you]

I get depressed during the summer too. Everyone is out having fun and being social. I also tend to see more people which puts me on edge because I don't know how to respond to the usual questions - "what's new", "how have you been?" Well, I've been spending every weekend since Xmas sleeping, how about yourself?

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

My daughter told me she signed up for a triathalon yesterday. I am so pleased and excited for her but I admit I had a twinge of jealousy.