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#1
Mar 16, 2016, 02:31 PM
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I couldn't find better topic for this case as this which I wrote.
Well, first of all you need to know, that probably I will write this text with really huge and awful mistakes. Why? Because I don't speak well english language. It's my second language. I'm not english man or else. I'm writting here this post because in my country help for this kind of problems don't exist. I am a problem. For me, my family and maybe for my compatriots. Not at all. Every day when I realise that there is "this" secret which is deep in my heart, in my soul, I feel really bad. I am gay and... I think it's normal. I have a boyfriend and with bad and good occurence we are together 10 mounths. I'm 24 years old, studying two courses, learning (as you can see) language english, fight with my disadvantages to feel better and it helps me to run away from the truth. My friends know, that I'm gay (not everyone) and please belive me - if there wouldn't be so huge obstacle I could tell my mother and father the truth. But I can't. Why? I'm not alone in my family with homosexsuality. I have older sister which is also homosexual. She lives with her girlfriend, she told my mother everything about her when she was 24 and now she lives without any frightfull. And i'm so scared WHAT WILL HAPPEND WHEN MY PARENTS REALISE or just i will tell them that i'm gay. I feel guilty with that, i don't know why but it will kill them. I asked my friends what should i do - and they just telling me "yes, when your mother will know the truth, she will be so breakdown". Oh thanks for help! My boyfriend - well... i think he doesn't tell nothing more than "soon, they will know". Oh Christe, I know that they will know that, but now i'm not ready to say that. If this case appear, i will be on the edge. So what should i do now? Or in the future? run away? disappear? or tell it now and have hope, that everything will be alright? |
 Anonymous37780, Anonymous37790, elevatedsoul, EnglishDave, JustTvTroping
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#2
Mar 17, 2016, 08:26 AM
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Hello Creedart. I am also gay and lived most of my life in secret. Both of my parents died without knowing... I never told them and never had a boyfriend with which to make them suspicious. As a result I am now old and alone.
Treasure your boyfriend. Do what you must with your parents. If you decide to tell them make sure you have good support from your boyfriend, sister, and friends in the event that your parents do not react well to the news. But you shouldn't live your life by their narrowmindedness. If they react badly it is their loss.
__________________
------------------------------------ --  -- The world is what we make of it -- -- Dave -- www.idexter.com |
 EnglishDave
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#3
Mar 17, 2016, 11:43 AM
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#4
Mar 17, 2016, 11:48 AM
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omega---I am not gay...but my best friend was...he killed himself...
I don't want that to happen to you....please be whoever you are... you have my full support and hopes for a very good life... |
| dexter
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#5
Mar 17, 2016, 12:13 PM
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#6
Mar 17, 2016, 07:02 PM
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Hi Creedart,
I do not know the social views towards Gays in Poland, so I cannot say how your parents may react as people from an older Generation. You could gain an insight by how accepting they are of your sister's life now. I doubt they would view you any differently whichever way they are. The most important thing is for you and your partner to be happy and have a stress-free relationship. If that means keeping it a secret, do that, but I can see it causing a lot of strain. Alternatively, divulge the information in a calm manner, preferably with your sister there for support, and let the chips fall as they will. Dave.
__________________
You and I are yesterday's answers, The earth of the past come to flesh, Eroded by Time's rivers, To the shapes we now possess. The Sage. Emerson, Lake and Palmer. |
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#7
Mar 17, 2016, 08:45 PM
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 {{{{little turtle}}}} Hope you are doing OK tonight.
__________________
------------------------------------ -- -- The world is what we make of it -- -- Dave -- www.idexter.com |
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#8
Mar 18, 2016, 05:00 AM
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#9
Mar 19, 2016, 12:33 AM
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I am a lesbian. I know that different cultures can react to homosexuality in widely different ways. In some intolerant countries, it can be dangerous for even close friends and family to know. In others, it is perfectly acceptable and LGBT can marry, have families, and live completely normal "traditional" lives if they choose. I live in between those. I am in USA but in a LGBT pretty intolerant community. I am out to close friends and family but never at work. I doubt i will ever be 100% out. Coming out, especially if you are suffering from depression and anxiety,can be very difficult. I would suggest figuring out what you realistically might gain from telling your parents and what you might stand to lose. Honesty about you, your depression, your boyfriend, and your life situation would be very important. Give it some time. Talk it over with those close to you, especially your sister if you can. Then make your decision. Since they have already had a bad reaction to your sister, you probably want to take your time and think about this. |
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#10
May 28, 2016, 03:48 PM
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In order to know what their reaction will be, you need to tell them first. The view of homosexuals in Poland is not as bad as the gay media say. There are, of course, some groups that are against it in an aggressive manner, but they're not everyone. I'd say it's an overdramatized topic.
__________________
I have many NVLD and Asperger's traits. Meds-free since 2013 Medical issues: Congenital Hypothyroidism, NCAH, others Closely check your physical health before getting a mental illness dx. 
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#11
May 29, 2016, 12:45 AM
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You have the advantage of knowing how they reacted to your sister coming out. If how they reacted isn't something you want then you don't have to tell them. It's your romantic life and they don't have to approve for you to be happy.
If you tell them know you have the peace of mind that it is out there and don't have to deal with it later. This is of course at the risk of it damaging your relationship with your parents based on their beliefs. I'm sure it would hurt a lot to not be accepted for what you are to your parents. Have you talked to your sister about it? Maybe she can give you some advice since she has dealt with some of these battles.
__________________
"Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy." |
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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