I'm beginning to feel overwhelmed. And I'm not even sure what by. It just feels like there is so much pressure on me to be better and I'm getting nowhere. I can't handle it.

I met up with some old friends yesterday, hadn't seen some of them since new year. Some I hadn't seen for years... They all have their successful lives, jobs, partners, homes, independence. I had all that once but now I have nothing. And when they all asked me how I was, what I'm doing with my life I just had nothing to say.

The future is terrifying. I don't see a future. And working towards a future just seems ridiculous. I don't have the words to try and explain it.

Possible trigger:

Whatever it is stresses me out so much though. It's just another reason to add to why I should kill myself. Running out of reasons not to..

[Fuzzybear]

[LookingforCalm]

Ok - as numb as I feel right now, please don't give up. Your friends are simply in different places than you, and that's OK.

Please stop feeling that you have to compare to them. I know, I know... I do the same thing sometimes.
I don't mean to oversimplify, and I hope you don't take it that way, but sometimes the differences are what make life interesting.

I know I shouldn't compare to them, and I don't normally. It was just more difficult yesterday for some reason. I'm just so stuck and see no way out of this. I'm going backwards all the time, no steps forward anymore...

[basicgoodness]

I agree that the future is terrifying. So I hope you can do your best to live in the present moment. The future is only our thoughts. It is not real. Only the present is real. I would encourage you to take some action however small to improve your situation. The antidote to despair is action. I am saying this as much to myself as to you.

I do try to stay in the present, but even if I do that I just feel like I failure. My present basically consists of watching netflix which isn't exactly much of a life. And I am trying to improve things, and taking steps to change but that in itself is overwhelming. If I don't meet others or even my own expectations of what I should have achieved it just adds to the feeling of self hatred and that I am useless/worthless/a failure etc etc

It seems impossible to get some kind of balance where I can feel like I'm moving forwards without putting so much pressure on myself to succeed

[basicgoodness]

What would "success" look like to you? What would your life look like? Maybe think about these questions without feeling like you have to make it all happen immediately. Just let yourself do a thought experiment. What is missing from your life right now?

[mountainstream]