[IWishIWasSpecial]

I am quite an introverted and shy person by nature.I suffer from extremely low self esteem which probably arises from two fundamental issues.First is being unattractive.And second is being untalented.In short,I feel worthless.

I am unattractive.I am short.I am balding at the age of 20.What else do you need.You can't imagine how traumatizing this is for me.Being short has already taken a giant piece of my self-confidence.Little ounce of what was left is destroyed by my balding hair.I feel sorry for people looking at me.I have totally avoided going outside.I have completely shut myself.I don't want to meet anyone.I don't want someone to comment on my hair.

Since I realised that I'm ugly and shy, so I thought that I needed to study well. I am not smart, I have a lack in the necessities and I am weak in languages so I work extra hard to overcome it.I worked my *** off to get admission in a good college.I work really hard to get the best grades in the class.I try to exercise regularly.I play guitar(not that great but not so bad either). I am a programmer so I don't really have to interact with the other people directly so it is a blessing.But sometimes it just doesn't feel good.It feels like no matter how hard I try, it will never be enough.Sometimes I feel so alone.I have no one to talk to.Literally no one.I have no siblings.From starting,I never really talked to anyone or shared my feelings with them.My mom was my best friend.She somehow know what was bothering me without me even saying it.She would know when I was sad or depressed or when I wanted something but was too afraid to say it.After her demise 4 years ago,I became even more detached.I had no one to confide my problems to.No one who would understand me.No one would really love me despite me being ugly.No matter how ugly you are, you will always be the most beautiful child to your mother in the whole world.My Dad is great.He cares about me.But I am not able to open up to him.Some days,I completely lose all motivation and just sleep all day. I know procrastination would do nothing for me.It's kinda ironic how I program bots but sometimes feel like I have become one of them.I feel no happiness.No satisfaction.No joy.Just sadness and feelings of worthlessness.Like no one cares about me.No one will ever be interested in me.I will end up totally alone.

[Rohag]

Hello & Welcome, IWishIWasSpecial.

Originally Posted by IWishIWasSpecial

Some days,I completely lose all motivation and just sleep all day. ...I feel no happiness.No satisfaction.No joy.Just sadness and feelings of worthlessness.

Those could be evidence of depression. Have you been able to talk with a doctor and/or with someone trained in mood disorders?

General low self-esteem and early balding don't help, but it's possible more is going on here.

Please make yourself at home.

[Fuzzybear]

[Skeezyks]

Hello IWishIWasSpeical: I'm sorry you are feeling so low. I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks! I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit.

PsychCentral is a great place to get information as well as support for mental health issues. There are many knowledgeable & caring members here. The more you post, & reply to other members’ posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are social groups you can join & chat rooms where you’ll be able to connect with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) Lots of great stuff! So please keep posting!

[Takeshi]

I got few tips for you. You could invest in a good pair of boots, and also look for insoles that gives you a bit of extra height. For pants, the slimmer the better, the point is you wear stuff with confidence, if the size don't fit, either you don't wear them or alter them even if that cost extra money.

As for balding head, it's a male thing I suppose? Genetics are at play and it's in the field of plastic surgery or something, ordinary folks can't simply afford that sort of things. Balding men often choose to shave their head, or go find a hair stylist that could do magic for the look, or in my case, I'm growing it out along with some beard on my chin, I ask for an undercut at my barber. Don't ever lose hope for the better look, study and experiment. By the way, I had much shorter hair before, used a cap whenever I was out in the public, it was the time filled with depression and low self-esteem, guess it was bad for my thinning hair.

And there are a lot of components in one's look, you can still enjoy anything else that could make you feel and look cool/hipster-ish/Bohemian, you could choose and get into whatever you like.

I don't recommend to talk about balding head in person at all though, people might just lie saying "No, you're not balding, you look fine.". You'd wanna be just okay looking into the mirror, if you're tired and feel like crap, you may notice more about your hair, you'll find a way to live with it eventually and own it.

You may also find some good tutorials for hiding receding hairline on your brow with some cosmetics on youtube, and there's another thing, some medication could cause premature balding, whatever you decide to do, please don't go try looking like Trump's head.

I love the shaved look

I hope you post here more...I understand.

I wish we all had the ability to see ourselves through strangers eyes rather than through the distorted lenses of low self-esteem glasses...It sucks that we can't.

For now, one foot in front of the other. Is there a professional available to you is the first and most important question.