[qwerty68]

I have an appointment coming up where my pdoc wants to discuss lithium and ECT.

Lithium is a non-starter for me because I have lost 55 pounds since last September and still need to lose 15 to be at a real healthy weight.

ECT scares me because I have a bad memory as it is and it is just plain scary!

My pdoc has said over and over that my meds aren't helping and we are nearing the end of the med list. That isn't quite true Gabapentin, which I take for nerve pain(not a diabetic thankfully) helps my anxiety as does Klonopin but I am still a jittery mess every day. I am stuck on the lowest dosage of Geodon because the next step causes terrible side-effects and it sort of works. It doesn't matter to me if it works or not it is not like I don't know that my hallucinations are not real. Remeron is only a sleep aid and does nothing for depression. I also take fiorocet for tension headaches, imitrix for the rare migraine and simvastatin for lipid levels, which are almost normal so I am hoping to get off those soon as well.

The issue is that not only do they not really work all that well I have low energy all day and just feel tired and it seems like it is all the medication. Putting dishes in the dishwasher is a difficult thing these days.

I know these drugs have wicked withdrawal so I would need to do one at a time very slowly. My issue will be with my pdoc. He seems to think there is a rock that we haven't turned over that will magically fix me. I don't want to lose him because he actually solicits my input and takes it seriously, so maybe he will listen.

Yeah, I get compulsions to saw off my feet(I have neuromas in both feet) and pull out all my teeth(massive dental anxiety and psychoness) but I get those on medication so what if they continue? Some days I can barely walk or eat so it wouldn't be a big loss anyway. I am posting this at 12:40 AM my time because I have been trying to work the nerve up to brush my teeth, even though my dentist recently told me I am in no danger of losing them but I am afraid brushing will make them fall out, even though I get compulsions to yanked them out, Yeah I don't make any sense. My pdoc doesn't know about these since I also fear getting myself tossed back into the psych ward.

I have constant depression, for 21 years and counting and it is not like the meds are helping that and no anti-depressant has put a dent into it, ever.

I don't know if this is a good idea or not but I am on a ton of meds and it can't go on forever, right? Has anyone massively cut back on their meds without being symptom free and how did it go?

Thanks and sorry for the long post.

[little turtle]

be careful qwerty...please remember that what you eat and how you exercise effects your mind...hugs for you
when you are on so many medications ..all your meds including for physical problems....it is hard to tell what is helping and what is hurting..

[qwerty68]

That is one reason why I want to taper off them. When I get a weird side-effect it is anyone's guess as to which med caused it. I don't even know how I got on so many. It just seemed to happen.

To be fair I only take the imitrex once a month and only if I can't help it. It makes me feel really weird. I am down to 3-5 Fiorocets a week, although some days I need the 3 every 8 hours. So I don't typically count those in my med list. Still Remeron, Geodon, Klonopin, simvastatin and gabapentin is a lot of drugs on a daily basis. I could live with the headache pills, gabapentin and the statin if I had to. I just want off the the psych meds. I fear the withdrawal more than anything to be honest.

I eat reasonably healthy. Lots of veggies, beans, quinoa, chicken and fish. I find exercising difficult with a neuroma in both feet but I need to be more consistent with it. I like to walk since my joints can't handle anything more, I used to be a long distance runner, but it has been cold and rainy all week. Maybe that is what has put me in a mood.

[ramonajones]

Originally Posted by qwerty68

I have an appointment coming up where my pdoc wants to discuss lithium and ECT.

Lithium is a non-starter for me because I have lost 55 pounds since last September and still need to lose 15 to be at a real healthy weight.

ECT scares me because I have a bad memory as it is and it is just plain scary!

My pdoc has said over and over that my meds aren't helping and we are nearing the end of the med list. That isn't quite true Gabapentin, which I take for nerve pain(not a diabetic thankfully) helps my anxiety as does Klonopin but I am still a jittery mess every day. I am stuck on the lowest dosage of Geodon because the next step causes terrible side-effects and it sort of works. It doesn't matter to me if it works or not it is not like I don't know that my hallucinations are not real. Remeron is only a sleep aid and does nothing for depression. I also take fiorocet for tension headaches, imitrix for the rare migraine and simvastatin for lipid levels, which are almost normal so I am hoping to get off those soon as well.

The issue is that not only do they not really work all that well I have low energy all day and just feel tired and it seems like it is all the medication. Putting dishes in the dishwasher is a difficult thing these days.

I know these drugs have wicked withdrawal so I would need to do one at a time very slowly. My issue will be with my pdoc. He seems to think there is a rock that we haven't turned over that will magically fix me. I don't want to lose him because he actually solicits my input and takes it seriously, so maybe he will listen.

Yeah, I get compulsions to saw off my feet(I have neuromas in both feet) and pull out all my teeth(massive dental anxiety and psychoness) but I get those on medication so what if they continue? Some days I can barely walk or eat so it wouldn't be a big loss anyway. I am posting this at 12:40 AM my time because I have been trying to work the nerve up to brush my teeth, even though my dentist recently told me I am in no danger of losing them but I am afraid brushing will make them fall out, even though I get compulsions to yanked them out, Yeah I don't make any sense. My pdoc doesn't know about these since I also fear getting myself tossed back into the psych ward.

I have constant depression, for 21 years and counting and it is not like the meds are helping that and no anti-depressant has put a dent into it, ever.

I don't know if this is a good idea or not but I am on a ton of meds and it can't go on forever, right? Has anyone massively cut back on their meds without being symptom free and how did it go?

Thanks and sorry for the long post.

I was on four medications about a year and a half ago and decided to go off all of them because I wanted to get pregnant. I went WAY WAY WAY too fast. I just wanted off them all right away, and I did taper down under a pdoc's supervision, but it was a LOT to deal with. Go slow and one at a time.

Are you thinking of trying life off all meds altogether? I've been on an SSRI for 20 years and got off it completely in four months and had pretty bad side effects and severe symptoms. It's not that you can't get off, but you do have to give it time when something has been in your system this long.

[qwerty68]

Yeah, this would be a long term plan, like 2 years since I would like to taper one at a time.

This might be moot since I have no idea how my pdoc will react to the suggestion.

I know he is going to point out all the things happening to me while on meds could get worse. I have a week and a half to form a good argument but it will probably take multiple sessions to get him to agree. He is not the type to make quick decisions.

I think remeron will be the easiest to convince since he has said multiple times that it isn't working and I can replace the sleepiness properties with melatonin and valarian root. So I might start with that and argue against a replacement(should be easy, there isn't much left out there to try) and go from there. I know for a fact that remeron has horrible withdrawals, worse than effexor which I got off two summers ago. I stupidly tried to taper myself down to 15 mg from 45 and it was painful.

[little turtle]

qwerty---can you say more about remeron withdrawals...I am having trouble withdrawing from celexa...I have been going ultra-slow...

[qwerty68]

The second morning after I started tapering down I had severe anxiety that woke me up in pain. It felt like a large knife was plunged into my chest and came out my back. It was extremely painful. I had several more of those during the day and lot of other anxiety issues and went back to the normal dose that night.

I fear tapering off for that reason and because 30 mg makes me gain weight. I thought cutting my 45mg pill in half would help avoid the weight gain but it was too much of a drop off.

I struggled badly with effexor taper and I thought I was going slow. I was at 150 mg and took 112.5 for a week 75 for the next 37.5 the week after and suffered for almost 2 weeks after, felt like a zombie. I should have gone slower and did the 37.5 every other day for week., then every third day, and so on. I think that would have been easier. I will always have my tinnitus to remind me how awful and worthless that drug was for me.

[qwerty68]

Had my pdoc appointment today. He had the gall to suggest Olanzapine after I have lost over 50 pounds to replace Geodon since my psychotic symptoms are not completely controlled. My constant research on psych meds helped me again and easily got him to agree that would be a bad move for me. Even if it did help my psychosis more, what good would that do if it makes me fat and raises my lipid/sugar levels and causes worse things than psychosis?

It also gave me the opening to ask about dropping all meds. He agreed that it is worth trying and at the very least would make it easier to switch to other things if going off meds was worse than being on them. It almost sounded like it was going to be a fun experiment on me because he said "I haven't seen you unmedicated".

He also said it is obvious what I am on isn't working since I have so many symptoms that won't go away.

I told him I didn't want to start today because I am in the middle of dental work and that is triggering my anxiety and psychosis badly. He said to just call him when I am ready and tell him which med to taper off first.

In the abstract, it feels like a great idea but now that it is real, I am not so sure. Maybe I am just afraid of the withdrawal effects. Maybe I think of my meds as a crutch and I shouldn't do that. I can say that it is so nice to have a pdoc that listens and takes my input very seriously. In my experience, that is a rare thing.