[CountZero]

Can't enjoy things as I used to. Haven't done anything worthwhile. I've made poor life decisions in the past with drugs, and my education. I feel that no matter what I do or say, I won't be able to control my life. I hate myself, and pity the ppl who put up with me. I try my hardest to cope, I exercise, try to get out, but lately I've been spending too much time on the internet. I don't know what to do with my life anymore. I feel betrayed by all the ppl I used to trust.

[Sula B]

Hi CountZero, I am so sorry that you are feeling this way. You sound very young and like you are going through a very dark time. Please know you are not alone and there are people here who really do empathise and understand what you are experiencing.

I hope this time passes quickly and that you can regain some happiness. In the meantime, please hang in there and know that you are in my thoughts even if I am just a cyber person.

[hopeless2015]

Hugs, I'm so sorry you are struggling right now. Like Sula says know you are not alone. Keep posting if it helps

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G930A using Tapatalk

[Fizzyo]

[CognitoSchiz1989]

You are not alone. I am so sorry you are feeling this way. Try to keep posting about your feelings and what you are going through. Try to learn more about this disorder and find self help books if at all possible.

Sending gentle hugs your way.

[dexter]

Hi CountZero I just wanted to acknowledge that what you describe are all classic symptoms of depression. The inability to enjoy things is called anhedonia and it is what I experience... For me sort of a numbness, not sadness, but if I try to do the things I like, I don't get any pleasure, and that makes me frustrated and angry, and angry at people who suggest I do those things to "cheer up".

Feeling like having no control, that people dislike you, it also typical. For me it is like my brain is lying to me to get me to be miserable, even with tons of evidence to the contrary, my mind only lets me see everything in a very negative light.

And of course the lack of motivation. It sounds like you know that exercise can be very good for depression, but lack of motivation makes that very hard. I am stuck on the internet a lot too and I come here when I have insomnia.

If you can get treatment for the depression it is likely that all of these may subside. Depression takes away our hope but there is hope and many treatment options so hopefully you can find something that works for you.