[Rayne Selene]

I've been posting a lot recently.
I moved out of the state where I grew up to move across the country with my boyfriend. I didn't only move for him: I've always wanted to get out and see the rest of the country (and the world!) and I have a lot of goals in life that depend on me moving around. I was restless here. I wanted out. I know that.
Everything seemed to go great after the move. I had a job within a week. I wasn't in debt. Everything was great.
Then I lost my job. It was horrible. The story is on the site somewhere: it was really bad. Now I'm broke. My bank account is overdrawn. I have no friends in the new state, no prospects...I've been applying and applying and nothing. On top of that, the culture shock is insane. I can't relate to the people.
My mom flew me home for a weekend because of how bad my week has been. And now I'm sitting in here, in my childhood room, and all I can think is that I have to leave here on Monday, and I can't stop crying. I can't explain it. I feel so sad. I don't want to go back.
This is silly. I'm an adult, I can't live in my childhood room forever. I wanted out, I wanted to move, I was so excited about it, and I loved it in the new place. But right now, I seriously feel like my heart is being ripped out of my chest. I'm sorry if there are typos, I can barely see. I'm so, so, so, so, so sad. I'm so heartbroken to have to leave on Monday and I am dreading it. I want to stay here with my friends and family. Is this normal? Am I crazy? How do you ddeal with crazy homesickness? I thought coming home would be a respite and help me feel better, but I feel so much worse.

[Michelea]

Look at it a different way. At a very young age, you moved across the country, that shows guts. You found a job right away, that shows initiative. You are concerned about your account being overdrawn, that shows responsibility.

Yes, that job turned into one royal mess, but a year from now, you and your friends and family will laugh about the job from hell.

You made a big move, and have decided that it is not the place for you...and there is no shame in that. Moving back does not mean you will be living in your childhood room forever. It just means that you want to be in a safe place for a little bit before setting out on your own again, and that's okay. lol, I remember that restless feeling very well, you won't be staying with your mom for very long.

[Rayne Selene]

Thanks. I keep trying to tell myself that: that I'm doing well relative to other people my age. Then I talk to people who are my age and who have already graduated and started careers and are getting married and moving to places like Australia (okay that's one particular person I'm envious of) and I just...feel...sick.

I'm not moving back though. I can't. I would have to go back on Monday anyway: all of my stuff is in the other state! And I don't want to break up with my boyfriend. I really enjoy my life with him and I feel like our relationship is in a really good place. We don't want kids...but we just got a cat...and that sounds so little and silly but seriously we got a cat together and my whole brain was just like completely drenched in love for this guy. Like, I have a cat with you. This is forever. (Which yes I know that makes me sound super young and naiive and I'm partially joking and I know it probably won't last forever but hey.) Anyway, he's worth it to me. I don't resent him for the move or anything. Though, to be honest, if we broke up, I'd be off like a shot. But I do want to try to make this work, instead of running home after six weeks. I need to find a way to deal with how homesick I am :/

[Michelea]

Sounds like you have done very well, and I think you will continue to do so, even with the bumps that happen in everyone's life. The first time you move away from home, family, friends is extremely hard, it just is. It will take some time to get past feeling homesick, and to make a new place feel like home, so what you are feeling is very normal.

Other than being homesick, were you happy living there before the job mess? If so, and if it were me (and I'm not saying you should do this), I would go back and give it six months before making a final decision about moving back.

[Rayne Selene]

Originally Posted by Michelea

Sounds like you have done very well, and I think you will continue to do so, even with the bumps that happen in everyone's life. The first time you move away from home, family, friends is extremely hard, it just is. It will take some time to get past feeling homesick, and to make a new place feel like home, so what you are feeling is very normal.

Other than being homesick, were you happy living there before the job mess? If so, and if it were me (and I'm not saying you should do this), I would go back and give it six months before making a final decision about moving back.

I was happy living there. I mean, the culture shock is for real, but coming from where I do there will probably be culture shock anywhere. And I DID want to get out and see the country. Have new experiences. I still want to do it. The 6 months thing is a good idea. I think I just need to learn coping skills...cause it feels like I have no control over the way I feel. The homesickness really really hurts and it comes on in seriously heavy waves :/