Scared. Are these thoughts considered suicidal?

***I'm new here and want to make sure that if this is a possible trigger topic for anyone that you know now before reading any further.***

I've never been diagnosed with depression, but based on some of my symptoms over the years I suspect I have it, albeit a mild form. For many years I've had little interest in life/activities, I feel empty inside, feel like my mood is generally low, pessimistic, always anxious/nervous.

I've recently been going through a breakup of my relationship of 5 years. It's been 3 weeks. I was the dumpee, as usual. I'm 36 and I feel like he was my first love (I thought I'd been in love before, but then I met him). I'm taking this really hard and it seems to have exasperated my feelings. Just today I had a break down and cried and cried and a thought crept into my head. The thought was that I didn't care if I lived anymore. I have a Rx for Klonopin and briefly wondered if it was possible to overdose on it. But then I realized what I was thinking and it scared me. I don't feel like I would actually do anything to hurt myself, but these types of thoughts are not normal for me. Are these considered suicidal thoughts? I'm so scared that my mind is going to this place.

hi.

thanks for posting and sharing with the forum

(((((hugs))))

what you are going through are suicidal feelings. feelings like, i'mn going to overdose on this, or i don't want to be here in the world anymore, they are deffenetly suicidal thoughts.

are you seeing anyone? (therapist etc?). it might be a good idea

I know you say now you won't overdose on the medication, but that's now.. suicidal feelings can intensify. it would be a good thing to try and get this sorted (it's good you spotted something's not right)

i'm also sorry for the breakup

(((((hugs))))

Yes, I most definitely feel like I don't want to be here in the world anymore. And I don't always feel like that but when I get really down those thoughts creep into my head.

I did just start seeing a therapist last week and I have an appointment with her tomorrow morning and I plan on letting her know about these thoughts I've had.

I feel so weak knowing that I've let a person make me feel this way about myself.

you shouldn't feel weak

people have suicidal thoughts for all types of reasons (and those reasons' arn't right or wrong), we all have a limit to what we can handle

I hope you will come back tomorrow and post how your session went (their's actually a forum for therapy, which you can also use if you'd like!)