Worried about husband

I'v been with my husband for 3 years now. I'v never worried about him apart from the fact that he couldn't seem to hold a job. Something always happened, he got extremely angry and quit etc..
Then I noticed that sometimes he would have major mood swings, if he couldn't find something he would get so angry and start throwing things, or if he was tired and had to wake up etc.. He always apologized after and I just shrugged it off as hot headed as he's never angry at me.
Lately, more and more I'm worried about him. He acts impulsive. Spending money we don't have, not attending to matters that need to be dealt with financially and things like that.
I thought maybe it was immaturity, but he really wants to do well, he has good intentions but his moods hold him back.

He works in the oilfield and left to work last week. Every night he has been up all night upset and crying. Calling me and telling me he misses me and the kids and having horrible dreams keeping him up. But once he gets to work and is busy, he feels fine.
This morning he woke up, said he went off the handle, packed up his things and quit and is coming home. He was crying on the phone, I started to cry as we cannot afford to not work.. And he told me he was going to shoot himself or run the car into on coming traffic.
I calmed him down and told him to come home and that I would like him to see a doctor which he agreed.

What could be wrong here? I know he needs help, this might be the wrong section but I would really love some input on what our next step could be .. I just want to help him.

hi.

could it be bipolar?. a lot of what you're saying (moods, spending too much, getting angry when he can't find things) it does sound like that.

understand that none of us on here can diagnose, but this is my opinion.

i hope that you can sort something out and that you won't be struggling much longer

(((((((((hugs)))))

Hello Jadenmia1: I'm sorry you & your husband are having such a difficult time. As you are probably aware, we here on PC cannot diagnose your husband. That is a job for mental health professionals.

So I believe the next step is to get your husband in to see either a psychiatrist or a mental health therapist... one or the other. Most psychiatrists only prescribe & monitor psych med's. (I don't know how things work where you live.) In order for your husband to have an opportunity to talk about what is going on with him, he'll in all likelihood need to see a mental health therapist. This person could be a psychologist. But s/he could also be a therapist with some other type of educational background.

It may also be useful to have your husband see his primary care doctor. (If you have health insurance & want them to cover the costs, they may require your husband to be referred by his primary care doctor. Check with your insurer to make sure you understand what their requirements are.) However, apart from being referred on to a psychiatrist or therapist, your husband's primary care doctor may not be of much help in this situation. From what you wrote it sounds as though this is probably a mental health issue. Your husband appears to be struggling with a serious case of depression & anxiety, along with some suicidal thinking. So it is important to have what's going on with him addressed. I wish you both well...

Dear Jadenmia1,
Sorry your family is going through so much stress. I hope he is willing to seek medical help as soon as he returns! The "word on the street" in the US is that the Canadian health system is free but there can be a wait to be seen. Is that rumor true? He might need to have a psychiatrist diagnosis him. It sounds like you need support to. Do you have access to a therapist (through the free health system)? His issues are obviously worrying you and it is evident he is not in any position to help you with your anxiety.
There is a lot of good information at Psych Central to give you some ideas about facing your crisis. I know from my experiences with my own mental illness that it can take time to understand what is really going on. (I still am not 100% sure about what is going on in my brain.) Stay strong but don't be afraid to rant a little bit here.
Sincerely, Myst

Thankyou all for the kind words!! We have struggled because of his behaviour, mostly financial because of job losses, his spending impulses etc.. I have had GAD since being a teenager so am no stranger to mental health issues and have seen a therapist lots over the past few years.

We are in Canada and health care is free, not too bad of a wait to get seen by a doctor so I have to call today to get him booked in. The only problem is, his manager called him back and asked if he wanted a second chance and told him to come back Monday morning so that leaves tomorrow and Friday to see a doctor to get the ball rolling.

I asked him if he feels ok to go back and he says he doesn't know but he knows that we cannot afford not to.

I have brought up in the past that it would do him good to talk to a doctor for his angry outbursts and breakdowns but he has never accepted it. Today was definitely a breakthrough for him, he has cried all day. I just hope he doesn't go back on it his word.
Another thing that worries me is that he talks to himself. All the time. When he's sitting and not busy, I can see him mouthing words, sometimes it starts to escalate and he talks out loud. I have walked in on him swearing and arguing to himself.
When I'v asked about it, he said his mind is always ruminating, always thinking and it comes out. He once said, he gives himself advice.
I'm not sure if that a symptom of anything, but I'm sure it's worth mentioning to his doctor.

I have pondered the possibility of bipolar, but obviously him refusing to see a doctor, I couldn't do much about it.

I really just hope he will work with me and get the help he needs.
Thanks for listening