[jackie948]

I'm 23 year old boy, a software programmer, working for a company and making enough money to live good life, i recently bought a new home myself.

When i was in collage , i wanted to make my career with software development and i made it. it was my hobby and passion and yes still is.

I get depressed because people round me all saying that i'm not enjoying my life and i won't find a girl at all because i spend my all time alone/working in front of my computer screen.

I do night shift so when my shift ends i get so tired, so i don't go out much, i just sleep on day and work at night thats it. I had friends in my school and collage life but i have no friends at all now, I think i'm not going out person so that's the reason i have no friends.

I'm introvert and i do enjoy alone time but sometimes because of human nature i also hate of being alone. just sometimes. Also i'm virgin as well.

I don't know whats happening around me, i just put my headphones and start my work each and everyday , the way i like it.

I think to be the best in something , i will have to put my all attention to it and that what i'm doing with my career.

I'm confused and also depressed and don't know whats happening to me and other people around me.

Thanks for reading and any help and comments will be appreciated.

[MickeyCheeky]

I can relate to this.. I'm sorry about your situation You seem to have mostly social problems, about making friends, ecc. what do you think of your social skills? Do you think they're good enough? I don't know if I'd call you depressed, but if you have this doubt you can try a diagnosis Still, at the moment, I'd focus on your feeling of loneliness.
I wish I had better advice, but that's all I can think of but I'm sure other people here will be able to help

[jackie948]

Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky

I can relate to this.. I'm sorry about your situation You seem to have mostly social problems, about making friends, ecc. what do you think of your social skills? Do you think they're good enough? I don't know if I'd call you depressed, but if you have this doubt you can try a diagnosis Still, at the moment, I'd focus on your feeling of loneliness.
I wish I had better advice, but that's all I can think of but I'm sure other people here will be able to help

if someone try to talk with me than i think i'm good enough to have good conversation, but thing is i try to avoid people, most of time i just don't want them to talk to me

Dear Jackie948,
Are you open to something like attending yoga classes? When I used to go, the classes had 10-25 girls and only 0-3 boys. I would go to the same classes every week so usually the same people were always there and you start becoming friends. Avoid the M-F classes scheduled between 8:00 AM and 3:00 AM--those are typically classes that Mom's go to after taking their kids to school but the rest of the time, most of the girls were close to your age. You might be able to find one that fits your schedule.
Also, you are in a career field (IT) where there might be "networking organizations". (Most larger cities have them) While you are in an industry that has more men than women, women go to these meetings, too. Though I know your schedule might make this problematic.
Just some ideas.

One more idea. A grocery store that I shop at has the cutest girls that are your age at the checkout. Now that I am not as depressed, I sometimes ask them about their lives. I actually said to one of them, (we always talk and she is so sweet and pretty and my son is her age) "I bet you have a boyfriend because you are gorgeous!" and she said that she used to but is now single. So if you see someone at your local grocery store that you might be interested in, you could make it a point to always go through "their line." Maybe you could get lucky and they might be available as well. You have to be prepared for a lot of "I already have a boyfriend" stuff but it could work out.
And it is a fact that software programming is detailed, isolating work but it is also a fact that men with jobs are more attractive than unemployed men without a future. Since you had friends in college you probably just need to meet the right person.

Didn't listen to this well enough, "if someone try to talk with me than i think i'm good enough to have good conversation, but thing is i try to avoid people, most of time i just don't want them to talk to me"
You just started career that requires attention to detail, concentration and is a bit isolating; and you said you are an introvert. Maybe talking with a therapist would be helpful. Sometimes, when you speak to a therapist about your anxieties, you realize you have been "blowing it up". Lots of girls would think you are good enough!

[jackie948]

Thanks everyone for replies , very much appreciated