[Aardwolf]

Right. Enough is enough. This is getting beyond stupid.

Change of mindset in 3...2...1...

I have had setbacks, I have had problems. I would be stupid to try and pass them off, forget them, or bottle them away. I really need to start to take on the advice I so freely give to others.

Hell, I scored lower in the depression test compared to 6 years ago... I AM getting better.

I need to understand and accept that life is like the ocean, it can be calm, it can be raging, it can be in between. I just need to remember to take breaths before the waves as they roll over my head occasionally.

In two weeks I went from great, to frightened, scared and had quite real SUI thoughts. It has made me appreciate all the people on here so much more.

I need to remind myself that I am not a failure. I am not a looser. I will not be lonely forever. I will not be in constant emotional pain forever. As with all things, THIS WILL PASS.

I need to get myself back on the correct track, back on the correct road.

I'm not "fixed" - I'm a long way away from that, but if i stay on this "oh the world hates me, i'm a failure" mood then i'm never going to get anywhere.

I will still have bad days, I will start to have good ones. I can't rewind the clock and stop

Possible trigger:

the harm I have done to myself. I can stop hurting myself again - In fact, I will. I know it won't be quick and easy, it never is dealing with any addiction. In an ironic twist of fate, when I last hurt myself it bought me back to reality with such force that i realised just how much I had turned in on myself. It ended up helping me, in a weird convoluted way.

It is so easy to hate yourself, much more difficult to love yourself. - I need to listen to myself !

Blimey that was a long one...

[LucyG]

I applaud your determination to take care of yourself.

You don't say if you're on meds, but one thing that everyone with mental health issues needs to understand is that we need to give our brains the nutrients it needs to function properly so feel normal. I suspect [and this is my own opinion] that those with a genetic predisposition towards depression and bipolar aren't able to produce adequate neurotransmitters from food we eat, and need to take various supplements to meet our needs.

Amino acids are the building blocks of neurotransmitters, and amazingly effective in treating mood disorders because they work on treating the problem, not just medicating the symptoms.

Here's a good article on amino acids and mood:

https://experiencelife.com/article/a...-improve-mood/

This is a brain function questionnaire that shows what neurotransmitters are related to what feelings and emotions.

http://drjolee.com/Brain-Function-Questionnaire.pdf

[MtnTime2896]

That's awesome.

[catman8989]

I am happy for you and your change.

[Unrigged64072835]

It is good to change, as long as you also have compassion for yourself.

[Humpty Dumpty]

Take care of yourself. I hope this new mindset will work for you.

[Aardwolf]

Wow - Thank you all for your kind words, I honestly wasn't expecting quite that much interest !

Before my first post I decided first that failure is now not an option for me any-more, however I nearly immediately realised that life doesn't quite work that way, and there will be setbacks.

I have settled for a "middle ground" approach and although I had a bit of a wobble earlier today at work, I have resolved that I am going to stick to this.

I will still have wobbles, but I am going to deal with them properly promptly, and learn from them !

[Humpty Dumpty]

If you start to wobble there is no shame in asking someone to help you stand. There are plenty of us here that would be happy to help you remain standing & if you do fall we will offer a hand to help you up. Keep going.