[sad nana]

I went through 31 TMS treatments, driving over 60 miles every Monday through Friday, and I had very little improvement. The Pdoc who did it said I was a success because my scores of depression slightly impoved. In other words, instead of thinking about killing myself daily, I think about it 5-6 times a week, or instead of feeling guilty everyday, I feel guilty 5-6 days a week and other such depressive symtoms with little improvement in my scores. I went for TMS thinking this would end my depression, even though there was no guarantee. Now I feel even worse knowing that my husband spent over 8,000 dollars, and I once again failed to make improvements in my long term depressive state! I've been on numerous types of mood stabilizers & anti-depressents, and my regular Pdoc has all but given up on me, saying that I'm treatment resistant. In Jan., I'm going to the Pdoc who did my TMS because at least he switched my previous meds to new meds, and he found that I had low thyroid levels and started me on thyroid medicine about 2 weeks ago. How long should I expect to see an improvement with my new meds that I've been on for about 2 weeks-- Wellbutrin CR 150, Nuvigil 150, and Symbyax 12-25, and Levothyroxide? For almost a year I've been taking Klonapin 1mg and Dioxipine 150 to help me sleep at night. What Can I do next? I'm very afraid of ECT!!!

[anjelmarie]

I feel your pain and am sorry your suffering. I feel like i will never get rid of depression either. I feel like i will never be normal. It is horrible to feel like you want to kill yourself on a daily basis. I don't necessarily think that way anymore i do wish i would get sick or get in an accident and die though. I thought of doing TMS but was scared. I read there were side effects. I thought also about ECT and am scared of that too because of side effects like loss of memory and maybe headaches. I did read that patients alot of times see great improvement with their symptoms and have changed their outlook on life and become more positive. I know its annoying trying different meds all the time. You should do more research on ECT. That actually may be helpful to you. If things don't get better for me soon I may be looking into it again. Treatment resistant depression is horrible, no one should have to go through it. Good luck to you, your in my thoughts and prayers.

[(JD)]

(((sadnana)))) that was quite an improvement. You're worth more than the $8k!

How far along are you in psychotherapy, such as CBT? Changing those automatic thoughts is imperative to changing the negative feelings.

[sad nana]

Originally Posted by (JD)

(((sadnana)))) that was quite an improvement. You're worth more than the $8k!

How far along are you in psychotherapy, such as CBT? Changing those automatic thoughts is imperative to changing the negative feelings.

I've been in psychotherapy for a little over a year now. In CBT basically. She was able to get me to drive my car when I was afraid of driving for several months.

[sad nana]

Originally Posted by anjelmarie

I feel your pain and am sorry your suffering. I feel like i will never get rid of depression either. I feel like i will never be normal. It is horrible to feel like you want to kill yourself on a daily basis. I don't necessarily think that way anymore i do wish i would get sick or get in an accident and die though. I thought of doing TMS but was scared. I read there were side effects. I thought also about ECT and am scared of that too because of side effects like loss of memory and maybe headaches. I did read that patients alot of times see great improvement with their symptoms and have changed their outlook on life and become more positive. I know its annoying trying different meds all the time. You should do more research on ECT. That actually may be helpful to you. If things don't get better for me soon I may be looking into it again. Treatment resistant depression is horrible, no one should have to go through it. Good luck to you, your in my thoughts and prayers.

There were no side effects for me, no headaches or dizziness, or sickness or forgetfulness.
The only side effect is that we spent a lot of money and I saw really no significant improvement in my depression or mood.

[Baughmanly]

Originally Posted by sad nana

There were no side effects for me, no headaches or dizziness, or sickness or forgetfulness.
The only side effect is that we spent a lot of money and I saw really no significant improvement in my depression or mood.

I am on my 28th TMS treatment. I am also disappointed that I cannot tell any difference with my depression. My co-pay was $70 each treatment and now I feel bad that was money thrown away. I am so tired of feeling this way.