[ONEWISH]

i have been dealing with depression anxiety for a long time. i get anxiety/panic attacks that i cant breathe, and feel like i am going to die. i just feel its hard for me because i really dont have anyone to talk to. here and there i will talk to a friend, but it seems like they do not understand or really dont want to listen. i dont get along with my mom to good because she is an alcoholic. the rest of the family forget it. i will start therapy when i get ins. i also deal with the loss of my sister in 97. she is my best friend and my family. i sit here by myself and cry. i pick up the phone and i have nobody to call. i try so hard to change, but when people put you down most of your life, you only have yourself to say good job. im just really scared of life. many times i feel as if i am not even alive and i dont understand what is around me. i do try to change, but i get stuck over and over because i dont know what, where, how of anything. i have problems sleeping as well. i dont want to be alone anymore. my birthday was about a week ago and only 3 people called me. it just was not a good day at all. i try to help myself by reading books, research, this forum, etc. i just wish someone cared. im 31, people say i look as young as 24, but i feel as if i am a lot older than what i am. i reached out for help so many times. i dont know what to do anymore. i feel as if there is no place for me on this earth.

well you have a place here with us at these forums........welcome

[Sabrina]

I am sorry that you feel so alone.

butterflylady is right though - you have a place here where you will make lots of friends and someone will always be willing to listen.

Wishing you a belated happy birthday - I know that probably won't help much though!

Sending you soothing thoughts.

[Fuzzybear]

I'm sorry you feel all alone! You'll find many caring friends here... welcome and please keep posting!!

[wickedwings]

(((((onewish))))) you're not alone, not here. we are here to listen to you. i know how you feel, even though i have chronic major depression. i did have anxiety before. keep posting....

[gostryter]

(((((((((((((ONEWISH)))))))))))))))))

you totally not alone!!!!!

are you sure you're not me???

i suffer from depression - since forever...and my mom's an alcoholic....and i'm 32 but got carded not long ago for trying to buy a lottery ticket - for which you only have to be 18!! LOL....i just lost my insurance along with my job, i have no friends in real life - take to much effort... making good friends here though!!!

and hey you did pretty good with three calls on your b-day...i just had one....from my parents!

keep posting!!! i'm sure you'll make some friends here and get a lot of support!!!

btw...you just found a place for yourself on earth....here!

[Soidhonia]

(((ONEWISH))). Hello and welcome to Psych Central. Have you thought about getting therapy for your pnic attacks and anxiety. A therapist can help to relieve a lot of your anxiety by retraining your way of reacting to a situation. Medication is also available until you are able to get stable in therapy. I feel that you are just in need of professional help at this tima and when you see the difference in yourself in time a lot of the other minor issues that you feel are major issues at this time will seem less hurtful and debilitating to you mentally. Self esteem is a very fragile thing and getting the right help canhelp you succeed in life on a more positive note. there is also a chat here at Psych Central as well so you can make new aquaintences and share your life with. The hotlinenumber is 1-800-273 TALK if you ever just need someone to talk to bout how you are feeling when you are having a hard time alone. Take care (((ALONE))). I hope things get better for you soon. Soidhonia