circle of depression

two days ago,i was out on a camping trip with family and freinds,having a great time.Now however i feel low,ive been having dreams of suicide for two nights now,they are playing through my mind during my waking hours too. This has happened many times over the past year or so,my doctor,i'm sure he thinks there is nothing wrong with me as i still have not had the treatment i was promised(CBT).I have been given anti-depressants 9 months ago but i have been taking myself off them oveer the last few weeks,without consulting my doctor,because i couldnt sleep on them and need sleeping meds wich the doctor refuses to prescribe anymore.I feel pretty confused right now and to top it off 3 of my best freinds have left work to pursue new goals,so now i feel like i have no one to confide in.my post is erratic i know.I've not posted for a long while i dont know why,i guess ive been trying to convince myself everything is fine.Im just not sure what to do right now.

Hello Wanting. it is good to see you posting again. I feel thta you should tell your Dr that you cant sleep so the Dr can adjust your medication accordingly to help you sleep better. Yoga and exercise are good sleep inducers as well as turning off the TV 1-2 hours early to give your mind time to rest. I hope things get better for you soon wanting. Soidhonia

Hm, if you discontinue antidepressants that way, some weird ideation is very likely. If your doc doesn't prescribe sleeping pills to you, he must have his reasons. By the way, you may suggest switching to a different antidepressant... YOu may also ask anotehr doc and change if you want. You may search for a psychiatrist with experience of depression (if your current doctor doesn't fit the description).
But you may NOT practice do-it-yourself medications. It will do worst than no medication at all.

The best of luck

I agree....you shouldn't just go off the meds on your own.
Could get much worse. Stay on them and really try to seek decent help...if what you have is not doing it.
You must keep trying...don't give up!
Depression is a nasty trickster! She likes to tell us there is no help...when there really is. Remember that!
Take care now...
m.b.

I had asked to be referd to a psychiatrist at the end of last year.i was told there was a huge waiting list so i guess i am still waiting.Maybe i should change my doctor,but he has been very good in the past,ive been with him for nearly 20 years,but now i just dont believe what he says is right. Right now i dont even know if what i am thinking is right.somedays i feel like everything is fantastic,its like i know what it is like to be totally happy.and withought warning the dark mood comes and my thoughts are haunted by sad things loneliness despair.I an exhausted and need to sleep i think i wil,not had good sleep for days.sleep is a temporary relief so i like it,as long as those dreams of suicide dont comee back.thank for all your support i know ive been aaway and maybe should be here for others its just that it is hard for me.so thanks too all who have helped me in the past,and at least i have got this far.so i guess maybe there is hope.x

OH yes, it is great to go to sleep when you have an acute depressive episode. Indeed, it is the only good thing in the day.
Well, very few generic doctors are qualified for treating depression properly. It is a stragne disease and knowledge about it has only been acquired recently. Check out that waiting list and pull someone's jacket if necessary.
Your diagnose too may not be simply "depression", considering these euphoric phases you talk about. You need a psychiatrist.
But don't overlook the good news: help and hope are available!