once again

jman197 · Nov 05, 2016, 08:44 PM

Another weekend and I am back here depressed once again. I am sorry that all of you have to deal with this all the time. I think I bit off more than I could chew this week as well as put too much pressure on myself. It has to be something because Friday I was fine. I feel so alone and here is the one of the few places I feel people at least kinda get it. I wish I could give people crash courses in how I feel so they could actually get this crap I deal with on a regular basis. All the time people tell me I'm too young to want to die. Like they really know what I have been through. I am sick and tired of the drama and those people who act like they know when they dont. Or the morons who think they can just say one thing and I'll be fine. I'm tired, and ready for this to be done.

QueenCopper · Nov 05, 2016, 09:10 PM

I am sorry you are struggling. Did something happen between Friday and today that made you feel this way? How did you put to much pressure on yourself (if you care to share)? (((Hugs to you))). I can tell you that I truly understand but there are some amazing people on here that are very helpful. I hope you find some relief soon.

Nov 06, 2016, 12:39 AM

Jman-I am not an expert but you seem to have severe depression like many of us here. Are you seeking treatment for it?
When I am depressed, I have to have contact with other people to bring me out of the abyss. So this is a logical place to come if you have no one to hang out with this weekend that you connect with.
What was your biggest stressor last week? Was it work? Sometimes work just really aggravates our condition (depression and such). When I thought policies were unfair or stupid, it would make my blood boil. It also is draining to deal with toxic bosses or customers. Work can just stink.
And I know from some of your older threads that you have dealt with the pain caused by losing bfs. That stuff can really mess with you. Your appetite, sleep, thoughts, etc. I used to get very OCD (would keep thinking about them) when that happened to me. It would feel insane.
So I guess I am sitting here guessing about your thoughts. For some of us, we ruminate the same depressing thoughts over and over when we are depressed. I find that when I post about it in a specific way here, it helps me stop.
A lot of people here feel alone so you are a part of the "I feel so alone" brother/sisterhood. Maybe it's just the human condition to suffer but some of us are quite talented when it comes to our own unique mind torture techniques. Do you like football? That will likely distract me for a while later today. I hope Sunday is better for you!