[lark265]

Wow, sometimes I wonder what the hell happened. How did I arrive here? So freaking anxious constantly. Without much help, without any help actually. I just got back from psychiatrist visit....she seems to give a damn, but I know it's just her darn job. I tend to isolate a lot.....my thought is that that is a reason for this black feeling. I have never really believed in the "Devil" but of late it seems more possible, more real. What about you? Do you isolate also? What is the effect? I think another result of the isolation is my paranoia. I don't really know if this is an official diagnosis of "paranoia" but it's a sense that I have to DEFEAT others to make it. That is, every day I wake up facing "the enemy." Al those who have ill will against me. I don't think this is ACTUALLY true, but it sure is a strong sensation. Maybe this is a reach-out.....I;m seeking others who may feel they are alone on the planet Neptune. Without help. Without understanding.....

[Yours_Truly]

I hear you lark. I'm very alone too & I'm not really sure how the hell it happened. I mean, I do, but I'm still surprised by it. I isolate also. The effect it seems to have on me isn't paranoia but, more like worsening agoraphobia. It get harder and harder to get out.

[gayleggg]

My depression makes me withdraw too. It gives me anxiety to go to the store. And now the only friend I have keeps cancelling dates on me. I don't know what to do either.

I'm sorry you are feeling paranoid that must really suck. I hope you get to feeling better soon. Some doctors really care even if it is their job.

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm sorry you're struggling so much I hope your therapist will be able to help you.

[campervanman]

You are not alone lark265! And I am sorry you are feeling like this.
My paranoia does its` dam nest and stops` me from going out, and this depresses me more! Isolation is I suppose is my doing (Don't` want anybody thinking that I am a nut-job!) I know that I am a good person inside, who just wants` a normal life! `BUT` the way my mind works` I will never experience that! (And that thought makes` me more depressed) It feels` that I am on a merry-go-round that won`t bloody stop! (Makes` my head spin, race and hurt) aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh `Please god make it all go-away`

A big from me.

[lark265]

Originally Posted by campervanman

You are not alone lark265! And I am sorry you are feeling like this.
My paranoia does its` dam nest and stops` me from going out, and this depresses me more! Isolation is I suppose is my doing (Don't` want anybody thinking that I am a nut-job!) I know that I am a good person inside, who just wants` a normal life! `BUT` the way my mind works` I will never experience that! (And that thought makes` me more depressed) It feels` that I am on a merry-go-round that won`t bloody stop! (Makes` my head spin, race and hurt) aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh `Please god make it all go-away`

A big from me.

thanks Campervanman......I know deep down in my heart that yes, my isolating is my own doing. I can blame others (and do!) all day long but that tends to keep me right where I am emotionally (i.e., in Hell). I think my lifelong quest to pass as "NORMAL" is hurting me a lot. It wasn't OK in my home growing up to be even slightly "different." So naturally I started to blame my anxiety, weird thoughts and agony ON MYSELF. That is, "well my Mom acts as if that's not normal so it must be that I'm defective." Carry on.....