Experiencing violent thoughts because of situation

I posted about situation weeks ago. I am currently living with my evil mother and sibling because I have nowhere else to stay. I am the only one who has to pay rent per month as well as utilities. Everyday I'm seeing the same **** happen, me being ignored while the sibling is always ****ing taken into consideration. It's really driving me mad and I'm not sure if I should be posting this, but the way my life has been going not being able to afford rent not getting empathy from relatives and this being my only option, I feel like I will end up in the news soon. I want to beat my sister and mother to a pulp. I've never hated someone so much. Everyday I go to work and I feel like hurting my co-workers sometimes.

I'm not going to go into ****ing detail about what I really want to do let's just say I'm having extremely violent thoughts go through my head. It might be rare for a female and not a male to be speaking like this but that ***** is in the next room wasting the light in broad daylight, and I want to commit some horrible act of violence. For all of the ****ing years of not being listened to, and the same cycle. I really do feel like physically violating someone. I had to get that out there. And I'm not ****ing sure a therapist will help. Using my mother as a punching bag would be more helpful.

I think it's time to contact 911 and ask for help!

I do believe it would be better to end up in the hospital, a homeless shelter, a women's shelter, or a cheap hotel than to end up in jail ... Which is exactly where this is headed if you continue to neglect your emotional well-being and end up acting out these thoughts inappropriately!

Of course, three hots and a cot may also not be the worst option, but I think I'd want it to be MY last choice instead of my first.

Sincerely,
Pfrog!

A therapist might be able to help you later, once you are out of the abusive situation. Balm helps after you pull your hand out of the fire.

I agree with pfrog23

You need to seek help through anger management and stuff but if you are experiencing violent thoughts you need emergency help. Also contacting a family support worker would help. I'm not sure how the system works elsewhere I'm from Britain but I'm certain most countries have a similar service. They will be able to help you sort out family differences and issues and perhaps also help you find alternative accommodation.

((( gonegirl ))) I agree with the other posters. Your frustration is understandable, and your circumstances need to be changed. Please get some advice and real assistance asap so you can get out from under this situation, and better manage these powerful feelings, before you snap.