[Paraplegic1971]

Sometimes I know I am not the funnest to be around. With that being said I am hurt and a little angry at people who said they were my friend, especially people who I went to church with. Before becoming paralyzed I spent well over 40 hours volunteering at church, from running the sound to editing video for TV program. Now I haven't been in over 3 years and guess how many of those people who said they 'loved' me have called or visited, big fat zero. since that was the place I spent most of my time and energy, I now have no friends to speak of. Sorry for ranting but just got off Facebook and seen some of my 'friends' posts and wish they had a middle finger button.

[gayleggg]

I'm sorry that your friends did not stick by you in your time of need. There is no excuse for friends to just drop us because we can't keep up our former activities.

[leejosepho]

Originally Posted by Paraplegic1971

... I haven't been [there] in over 3 years and guess how many of those people who said they 'loved' me have called or visited...

Who moved? It might be true they never were true "friends" in the deepest kinds of ways, but it is not impossible to understand sheep staying within the herd for whatever the benefits of doing so might be.

What other options might you have for contact with other people?

[MickeyCheeky]

They clearly weren't true friends... at least you know, now, they would probably have hurt you more than anything in the long run. Still, I understand how you feel, and I'm sorry

[BLUEDOVE]

Understand completely;try and turn friendship inside to dear self,
say out loud you love self,even if don't feel it.

[dancinglady]

Originally Posted by Paraplegic1971

Sometimes I know I am not the funnest to be around. With that being said I am hurt and a little angry at people who said they were my friend, especially people who I went to church with. Before becoming paralyzed I spent well over 40 hours volunteering at church, from running the sound to editing video for TV program. Now I haven't been in over 3 years and guess how many of those people who said they 'loved' me have called or visited, big fat zero. since that was the place I spent most of my time and energy, I now have no friends to speak of. Sorry for ranting but just got off Facebook and seen some of my 'friends' posts and wish they had a middle finger button.

This is the ultimate in "using you" for their benefit. Now u need them. You have just been presented with the terms - there are givers and takers". Takers usually don't give. I try to find people where there is a 2 way street. If I start seeing the taker mentality I RUN. Sorry you found this out in your down time.

[Paraplegic1971]

Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky

They clearly weren't true friends... at least you know, now, they would probably have hurt you more than anything in the long run. Still, I understand how you feel, and I'm sorry

Thanks, I am hopeful this site will lead to finding friends who understand.

I'm sorry to hear about that. I can relate a little bit to your post. A year and a half ago I had prostate cancer surgery. Fortunately it all turned out alright. After being released from the hospital I had about two months to stay home and recover.

I was attending a church regularly for three years. I didn't make very good connections at that church in all of the time I went there. I made one good friend. The first week when I got home to recover, the Pastor at the church put out a notice to volunteer to help me if the people wanted to. A few signed up to cook meals for me and deliver it to my home. That helped. I don't want to sound ungrateful but they just delivered the food and couldn't at least stay for a few minutes to ask me how I am doing. Plus, the quality of the food was not that good.

Also, some had signed up to help out with cleaning. When a time was set up to do it (and I was looking forward for them to come), they never showed up. And they didn't even call to say that they can't make it. That whole experience soured me about the people at that church.

I am a Christian and lots of times I am baffled as to why some so-called Christians do things like that. To me it would be like blaspheme to make a promise to someone in need and then not follow through. I couldn't look at myself and even face the Lord if I did something like that.

[leejosepho]

Originally Posted by will19

...they never showed up. And they didn't even call to say that they can't make it. That whole experience soured me about the people at that church.

Please forgive my earlier post, Paraplegic1971. I had mentioned all of this to my wife, and she has said things are the same as above at the church where she attends. According to her, everything those people do with each other takes place either inside the building or on Facebook...and that is the end of that.

[Misterpain]

Are you by injury or illness ? I am a Tetra by illness ,make new friends within the D community those are real people , most of us have disabilities to slow us down so the AB don't get to upset , let them have there fake life and friends , trust me they deserve each other , you deserve better and will make a friend upgrade. Sorry if your offended but I say the hard things ,no real friend is gonna tell you what you want to hear , that's not a friend, it's those that won't blow bs up your butt that are worthy of your time and your friendship.