Depression is....

Depression to me is....

Having to make problems seem worse so people don't dismiss you as being sensitive

Being tired for no reason

Lacking motivation for no reason

Being fine one day and down the next

Struggling to explain yourself to peers, bosses, etc.

Feeling judged

Being accused of being weak

Striving to feel better even when you feel worse

Wanting someone to just understand and not ask for an explanation

Making goals for the day that would seem insignificant to others

Feeling bad, then feeling bad about feeling bad, and then feeling worse about everything

A dark hole that is difficult to escape from

---

But my depression doesn't define me. Depression doesn't rule me. Depression is not my life. It is part of my life. It is always there but it is also me. Depression is a nuisance but it always is familiar. Depression impacts me but does not own me. It does not make me weak. It does not make me lesser. It does not mean I can't live life to the fullest extent possible.

These are my thoughts on depression. Feel free to share yours'.

Nailed it!
Good post Sunlaien

Depression is a black hole that sucks the life out of me and leaves an empty shell.

I can relate to that statement. I'm sorry you feel it too. *hugs*

You left out overwhelming guilt. That's a fun one.

Oh yeah the guilt is a goody. I think they'll put "I'm sorry for everything" on my headstone.
And how about feelings of worthlessness and inadequacy? "the worst mother in the world" will be the second line on my headstone.

Your post really spoke to me.

Like a box of chocolates, you never know what you'll get.

I see depression as a state of one's mind on the outside world.
The real world is not perfect, so it's ok to have such states of mind that take us aside from the on-goings of the world.
I see such state as depression as a "something deep in me makes me see wrongs in the world, wrongs that it seems only I feel. I will understand those feelings of wrong. As the world is imperfect and composed of not a small number of wrongs, it is ok for me to see things as wrong".

Feeling no matter what you do it'll be wrong

... a neverending battle between the part of me that wants to achieve something and sees beauty in life and the other part of me that says it doesn't matter, that I'm not good enough and that I should just give up.

Thanks for all the contributions. Despite how it feels, at least depression isn't alone. You get it. You understand. And that makes it a little more bearable.

Struggling with guilt myself these days. Or, people trying to impose guilt. But I refuse to succumb to it. I've been down that road. I won't ever apologize for being me--- the good and the bad.

I would rather feel 100x stronger than the "average" person than be numb and senseless.

so true dealing with that one big time right now

Staring into the heart of an immense darkness with a sliver of light behind you -- light you use to be drenched in -- only to realize that you understand the darkness more than you ever understood the light.

Thank you so much for your opening-post, Sunlaien!

You described my depression perfectly.

I think of depression as the purest form of realism. In many ways the world isn't a kind place, and human lives are fleeting and finite. People with depression aren't deluded into a false sense of reality. I read a study once where researchers had players dodge dots in a game. The researchers asked each player how many they were able to dodge. The people with depression were consistently within 5-10% accurate about how many dots, and those without depression consistently reported way more than they actually dodged, usually 50% more at minimum. I think it is accurate in a way to argue that people with depression understandthe world and existence better than anyone.