[ABC1357]

I feel stuck. It's not because I want to. Don't ask me why I can't let it go. I want to, and I'm making every effort.

I feel suicidal. It's not because I want to die, but just want to escape from the pain which never stops. It looks only exit from the dark tunnel.

I feel anxious. Don't call me stupid for that. I want to act as everyone do. Just I can't.

I never want to be anxious or depressed. It's same as not one want to get flu when life is already hard and busy. I am trying to get out of it, but there's always another challenge. It's not because I'm lazy.

I'm working, smiling, but I'm not OK. I just don't know how to ask help.

[JustJace2u]

Do you have a therapist or psychiatrist?

[ABC1357]

Originally Posted by JustJace2u

Do you have a therapist or psychiatrist?

I recently started working with therapist. I'm working on it, I just feel overwhelmed now and wanted to express my feeling to someone...

[MommaD]

I hear you. Sometimes you just have to say what you're feeling. No one who struggles with mental illness is lazy or stupid! Carrie Fisher (who had bipolar) said if you're struggling with this you should be proud of yourself not ashamed. You're one of the most courageous people around and you deserve a medal for dealing with this.
She said it better, but the sentiment is the same.
You are not stupid. You are not lazy. You are brave beyond belief even though you may not feel like it right now.
Please reach out for help in real life. You deserve to feel better.
Sending you healing thoughts

[Fuzzybear]

It's brave to work with a therapist... you're certainly not lazy or stupid

"The pain which never stops" - those of us who can relate to this are brave. (Beyond belief)

[Sunlaien]

Sometimes being able to smile and put on a front on the outside makes it that much harder. I really commend you for being strong enough to do that. But I also know how difficult that can be. Because you can't open up to those people you act so strong in front of.

It sometimes feels like a double life. Someone told me today I needed to be "normal" again, and I laughed because the real me is the depressed me. The front they see is just an act.

I understand and I am so sorry you feel this way. If you ever need to talk to anyone, I'm here to listen.

I'm glad you're seeing a therapist. That can help. Just saying the words can bring a sense of release. And talking to people here. You don't need to put on that smile here. You're among friends.

[MtnTime2896]

I think everyone here said what I would tell you. You're brave and what you're dealing with right now; well, I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. I'm proud of you for working on getting better with a therapist; I'm also happy that you reached out to us here with this thread. It shows you're truly wanting to get better. That desire will help drive you through this hell. We'll be here along the way.