Slipping

Could use some good thoughts. It's been a month basically since I got out of the hospital. When I first got discharged everything seem as if it was starting to look up and I was feeling better. Now it feels like I'm starting to step back into my deep depression and I can't seem to stop it. I'm afraid to call my t because I'm pretty sure she'll try to send me back to the hospital. Today was a rough day at work as my anxiety was through the roof. All I could do was keep myself busy to try and keep my mind off of all the bad stuff. I just wish this roller coaster would stop, I wanna get off. I don't see my pdoc for at least another 2 1/2 weeks.

Edit: I just called and left a message for my therapist. If she doesn't call me back soon I'll try calling my pdoc.

Here's some hugs for you.. Hope things will improve soon

Thanks. I just worry that if this keeps happening I'll end up back in the hospital.

I have the same fear. I made the decision after my last admission that I would never go back to hospital voluntarily. That is not an option for me anymore. It makes it awkward though because if I want help I have to be honest, and if I'm too honest people panic. Hopefully I will find a way around this and explain to some extent how I am for someone to help.

I guess it's better to do the reaching out before it gets so bad that you need hospital. That way meds can be adjusted or whatever and hopefully improve things so it's not necessary. I hope you hear back from your therapist soon

(((((JustJace2u))))))

I can't help as I can't tolerate meds and therefore there is nothing to be "adjusted"

Alone, in my forest

Being honest was what landed me in the hospital. I know it's important because otherwise what's the point? I just left a message for my pdoc, advising him I didn't necessarily feel suicidal, but I can tell fleeting thoughts are coming back, and that's how it all started the last time.

Yes exactly, what is the point otherwise? We have to do it to help ourselves even though it's hard. I'm telling myself this as much as you in an attempt to also be honest. It's good though that you realise it started with fleeting thoughts before and have had the insight to be able to reach out when it is still at that stage. Hopefully that means you can avoid hospital this time.

Have your therapist or pdoc got back in touch?

They both called me back this afternoon. I made an emergency appointment with my pdoc for Monday. I'll still see my t next week Thursday as originally scheduled.

You're never alone. I'm here

Justjace2u I'm glad you decided to reach out to your doc and t ASAP and nip this in the bud. If you need help staying safe this weekend please reach out!!

Thanks. I promised my t I would go to the ER if I felt I couldn't wait until Monday when I see my pdoc. I'm obviously trying to avoid that because ultimately I know what will happen, hence the reason I'm trying to get a handle on this ASAP.

I hate the fact that my pdoc and t are now considered out of network because we got a new insurance plan at work. The messed up thing is that the old pdoc and t I was seeing are in network, but I refuse to go back to them and with all my issues I don't want to switch because I really like my current team.