[jman197]

I'm done trying. I've tried for over 14 years to be something I'm not. I'm not a happy person. I'm the kid who got bullied one too many times. That one who is tired of coming back, because he already knows what's going to happen. Life has hurt me one to many times so I'm done living. I'm done with this charade that was my life. I think its time to embrace the dark side of my life and stop giving a ****. Why should I when caring only gets me hurt. Or maybe I should just exist. Not caring one way or another what happens to me. I'm sick and tired of hurting inside. The only reason I'm still here is that I might fail. I wont like my life as a veg, or without the use of my body. If there was a foolproof way to end things I would. And no I'm not suicidal. Just tired of the insanity that is my life. The endless circle that is depression and the bursts of anger that come up. I'm tired of lying and faking my way through life. I'm done with this. I'm done with it all.

More that fourteen years of darkness is so much. I know that no two depression's are the same. Perhaps I have only recovered from mine because I may have more of a "bipolar type" depression (have lots of ups and downs). I am so grateful I am not currently in darkness. In 2015, the low was so bad that I tried to end it and it turned out badly so it's healthy that you are aware of that.

I know I am lucky because my H stayed with me when I was so low and I know that you are very lonely. However, medication, posting, exercise, therapy and prayer also helped. This morning I viewed the following video that Boogiesmash recommended, I hope you find it helpful: https://www.youtube.com/watch?featur...R4&app=desktop

Many people at PC have dealt with a few of the feelings that you have. I hope that someday you don't feel as low as you do know.

[Fuzzybear]

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm so sorry for how you're feeling. I wish I could do something to help you I understand you being tired of life and just want this to stop..please, hang on. There are people who care about you

[gayleggg]

I sympathize with how you are feeling. I've been fighting depression for 32 years and know it's not easy. Hang in there because it can get better. ❤️

[hypercat]

Hi no one can or should try to be something they are not. That's a mugs game. I think if you stop doing this and start being yourself and who you are you might end up a lot happier. I say this based on my own experience. This is your life and no one's else's and it is for you to live it the way you want to.

Obviously I don't mean breaking social or moral laws as this won't get you very far in life, but just to think about what you want out of your life. If you don't know what you want then think about what you don't want. x