I have thought about this attempt nonstop for two years; I can't take it back. It is still hard to understand and accept but I need to let it go. Two years is way to long to fixate on one event.

[Hobbit House]

Wow! That's a lot to to take in. You were very close... I'm certainly glad you didn't succeed, and I'm sure I'm not the only one. While I understand your husbands worry, maybe loosening up a little probably wouldn't hurt. I think the cameras are a bit much though. Anyway I hope the first time was the last time. You have many people on Psych Central and at home who care about you. Good luck!

[MtnTime2896]

I'm glad you made it, my friend. You're an amazing person whom I'm glad I was able to meet.

(((Hopingtrying)))

Originally Posted by Só leigheas

I'm glad you made it, my friend. You're an amazing person whom I'm glad I was able to meet.

(((Hopingtrying)))

I still hope to meet you in person someday when I visit my family in Arizona! Going to Oregon this summer (I really like being in Oregon in the Summertime) and possibly (budget is the issue) to Arizona in the Fall or Winter. I used to go to California a lot but the last time I traveled to New Mexico I was a teenager. We went to Carlsbad Caverns and I remember getting in a colossal fight with my mom during that trip (It was Thanksgiving and a huge snowstorm actually shut the park down--a highly unusual event. We did not do well together when we were confined in a small space). If it is the Fall or Spring, I am thinking a more leisurely trip from Las Cruces to Sante Fe is in order. There are a lot of small towns along Interstate 25--do you have a favorite?

My attempt was a once in a lifetime event for me. It is not going to happen again. But the mental anguish I felt yesterday (and except for what I posted at PC--I just kept it to myself)--those feelings have always visited me periodically for my entire life. I just have to ride them out and then they usually end and I feel OK again. It seems like there are others at PC who share this trait. You cannot stop the feelings, only wait for them to subside.....

[MtnTime2896]

Originally Posted by Hopingtrying

I still hope to meet you in person someday when I visit my family in Arizona! Going to Oregon this summer (I really like being in Oregon in the Summertime) and possibly (budget is the issue) to Arizona in the Fall or Winter. I used to go to California a lot but the last time I traveled to New Mexico I was a teenager. We went to Carlsbad Caverns and I remember getting in a colossal fight with my mom during that trip (It was Thanksgiving and a huge snowstorm actually shut the park down--a highly unusual event. We did not do well together when we were confined in a small space). If it is the Fall or Spring, I am thinking a more leisurely trip from Las Cruces to Sante Fe is in order. There are a lot of small towns along Interstate 25--do you have a favorite?

It's a bit off the interstate but Madrid is always worth a visit.

[Zedsdead]

Originally Posted by Hopingtrying

I have thought about this attempt nonstop for two years; I can't take it back. It is still hard to understand and accept but I need to let it go. Two years is way to long to fixate on one event.

Don't let the attempt define who you are or fixate on it enough to change your mindset. Accept it as a changing point in your life, one that led to understanding yourself better and learning self love and boundaries. You are such a wonderful lady and are doing great!!!!!
It has been a long time since my attempt. More than 10 years now and although I didn't learn anything from it immediately, in the past year I have come to terms with it and am learning more and more about myself and the people around me.
I hope you are well 😊

Originally Posted by Zedsdead

Don't let the attempt define who you are or fixate on it enough to change your mindset. Accept it as a changing point in your life, one that led to understanding yourself better and learning self love and boundaries. You are such a wonderful lady and are doing great!!!!!
It has been a long time since my attempt. More than 10 years now and although I didn't learn anything from it immediately, in the past year I have come to terms with it and am learning more and more about myself and the people around me.
I hope you are well 😊

That is extremely kind of you to say. I am doing well--I just got myself a bit worked up and overtired yesterday. I napped for hours today. I am doing better than I was 1 year ago and especially 2 years ago.

I noticed that you posted today that you are making progress in regards to managing your mental issues as well. Hope you are enjoying motherhood more too. Having a one and two year old is very challenging--but I really remember especially enjoying ages Pre-K on. They'll be grown up before you know it--hope the four of you (or maybe more like one on one with that crew) are finding some fun things to do. Summer is coming! (Spring doesn't really count in Canada, or does it?)