Is anybody listening?

I need someone to hear me. Just once in my life. I need someone to listen to what I have to say, appreciate what it means to me and understand.

If I say I feel low and need some help please believe that. Don't just look at what I show to the outside world. I can go to work yes, but that is pretty much all I'm managing right now. Yes I might smile, maybe even laugh, but that doesn't mean I'm not thinking about killing myself.

I feel like my whole life I have just gone unheard. I pleaded with my mum to change schools because I had no friends, she told me to just wait it out. When I first realised I wasn't ok, and that thinking of suicide on a daily basis wasn't a normal thing to do I tried to tell my mum then. She dismissed it as a phase every teen goes through and bought me some new clothes as if to cure me.

And then there have been all the times I just said something in a conversation and no one responded, even acknowledged I had opened my mouth.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm invisible.

So I have learnt to just keep it all to myself. It can't be real after all. Surely if it was someone would listen, someone would care. Someone would just believe me.

Sometimes though I fight everything that tells me it's not worth it and I try to reach out to someone in the hope they might just help me. But no one ever hears me.

How do I make myself heard? Killing myself would make it pretty ****ing obvious. Defeats the object of trying to get help though. Honestly though I'm not sure I care anymore. No one has heard me so far, why should I expect that to change after so long?

I am listening.

It sounds like you have encountered your fair share of unsupportive people, and I am very sorry to hear that. It happens to people more often than it should. Please keep posting, and feel free to PM me anytime even if it's just to vent.

I'm listening they have not heard me either

You can PM me any time

I just think this is it for me now. There isn't any real hope. No way out of this. I'm stuck.

I was in that stuck feeling for several years, and I know that when one is in that spot, a million people could tell you that it gets better but it wouldn't make much of a difference. Just wanted to let you know that I understand, I have been there. It does get better, but it is EXTREMELY hard to believe when going through such a rough time.

I understand ... I wish I could help more. Always feel free to rant to my cave

I'm sorry you're having such a rough time. You're not alone. I'm listening and you can talk to me anytime.

I have a bit of sarcasm I sometimes use when people ask me how I am doing today. I sometimes say, "Oh, this morning I thought about doing some complaining, but even the people who pretend to listen do not really care."

I am not in any way suggesting you are complaining, just letting you know I am listening to you...and no, I am not pretending. Truly, whisperingskye, I really do care.

I am hearing you too! And always open to PMs. What you're feeling is not at all easy, especially when you have all these people in you life dismissing it we're all here for you to help in whatever way we can

Hug from me too

Take care of yourself

I hear you. And I can really relate

I relate to this too.. I wish none of us had been through this / "have to" put up with this.... etc .....

I am grrr at those people on your behalf, and on my behalf, and for all those who can relate ...

(What will my grr "achieve" idk.. maybe one day there will be some answers to this pain )

I hear you ... and I think I understand ... but I owe you an apology ... I am afraid I have let my issues fill my time lately ... and I am sorry ... but I am listening ... Love .. Tigger .

No need to apologise. We all have to take time and look after ourselves too.