Let Me Be Done.

The worst part isn't the question of whether or not my cancer's back. The worst part is how much of me wants it to be back. I want to fly like those before me. I need to be free of this life. Of this hell. Of this torment. The only piece of me that doesn't want it back, is the same piece that's kept me from following through with my desires; all for the sake of those I love. Why can't I be done? Why do I have to sacrifice peace? I just want it to be over. I just want to be done. I need to be done. I need to be free.

You can be free without being done. It takes work, yes ... but think of it like this:

Currently you are trapped in an adobe prison cell. You have already crafted yourself a blade from the stones lying around - but now you have to carve into the stone walls to get out. It's made even more complicated by the fact very little light filters in to the prison cell. The guards know of your efforts and they never try to stop you - until you come too close to breaking free, then they patch it up. You can always stop your attempts - but if you do, you will nevdf feel the sunlight on your face.
Your job is to figure out how to escape that cell without the guards finding out your progress in time. Then you can enjoy life.

Same is true of mental or emotional illness - it is a prison that attempts to keep you each time you get close to escape... but you can escape if you continue your efforts, and never give up.

I relate to the .. prison that attempts to trap each time we get close to escaping..



((( So leigheas )))

I understand - I was in it for over 27 years of my life - and still revisit it on occassion, it just no longer has the grip it once did