[ItsMeh]

I lost my mom because of cardiac arrest. It happened 3 years ago. I will also admit I did not give that much of a **** then, but now it hurts. I don't know if it's just a cry for help or attention. This usually happens when something or someone does something bad. It triggers the tears and pain. And today my aunt was mingling with her daughter and it hit me hard. I don't know what's happening. HELP ME! Sorry for the over exaggeration.

[Sunflower123]

I don't think you are over-exaggerating. This sounds like delayed grief. I encourage you to see a therapist to work through this. I hope you start feeling better soon. Best wishes.

[Crypts_Of_The_Mind]

Just sounds to me like when your mom actually died, your mind went into a state of shock or disbelief. Now that shock and disbelief has worn off and so when something happens that normally you would look to your Mom to help you with or through, you are starting to feel bits of that initial pain you would have had 3yrs ago. Grief is processed differently and at different speeds by different people. There is no right nor wrong way to grieve. There is no time limit. Don't place blame on yourself where there is none. I made that mistake myself and it took decades to overcome. I still have occasions I deal with it. You are not being attention seeking. You are simply trying to heal.

[winter4me]

& three years is recent.
It is a loss you will process over the course of your life, it won't always be raw and so distressing. Like Crypts said, there are no rules, no timeline, it is a part of life.
When you see your aunt with her daughter it may be you are grieving the kind of relationship you did not have, or have a chance to have; or that you are missing something you once did have with your mother...or something else....((((hug)))))

[MickeyCheeky]

People cope with the loss of their loved ones in different ways.. I'm sorry you're feeling this way.

There is nothing at all to feel badly about. Everyone grieves differently and if we aren't ready to deal with it--we'll bury our feelings. We can push them down so deep that we don't even know they are there. Three years is not that long ago. Our mom died over 20 years ago and it is still hard to come to terms with it. I know my sister still goes to pieces over it and I don't bring it up. Being able to grieve is both a blessing and a curse but we just can't force ourselve to fit into a grief sterotype. It is what it is. Go easy on yourself if you can. You are definitely not crying in order to get attention. Usually we have no control over our tears.

[starryprince]

OP, I'm very sorry for your loss. I don't think you're being dramatic at all. Losing someone is the most painful thing someone can go through, and it's something you'll always think about. It seems as if your emotions were dulled when your mom passed away and you dissociated to a certain extrent. Now it's hit you and you're truly feeling the pain. Get all of your emotions out and know that what you're feeling is valid.

[unaluna]

My mother died suddenly 2 years ago. She was in her late 80's, but still it was unexpected. Its not like she was sick - she had gone to the casino the night before! But like you, its taken until now for me to really miss her, even though we were never very close. She always liked my brother best, as Tommy Smothers used to say. I am finally able to mourn or grieve for what i never had.

My dad died 12 years ago. We had a difficult relationship since my teens. I only discovered he was autistic when I was in my 40s. I've only just started to really miss him. I thought I hated him, but what I actually hated was his autism, which I never understood. He tried to love me and my mother but I resented him for being different. Grief is a strange thing. I wish I could tell him I'm sorry. I couldn't bring myself to say I loved him on his deathbed, although he said he loved me, and those were his last words. He hung on til my mother and I came to visit him in hospital, and died in front of us both. I'm so sorry dad. I love you.