[Little Jay]

They're looking for a bed for me to go inpatient, but the NHS is such a mess at the minute there isn't one in the whole of the county so I have to wait and keep myself safe until Monday when there'll hopefully be a bed. It feels like it's going to be such a hard weekend, I already came home and self harmed and now I'm in so much pain. I don't know what to do any more.

[whisperingskye]

The wait for a bed is always so horrible. I hope they get you one soon. Keep reaching out to us here in the meantime

It is awful that you have to wait. Keep yourself safe in the meantime.

[MtnTime2896]

If it works, keep writing your thoughts down here. Sometimes that can keep you busy until you fall asleep.

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((( Little Jay ))))))))

[Mindful55]

We are here 💜

I am not understanding the lack of your safely.
No option or support from the ER?

[gothicpear]

Keep reaching out here. Don't be alone if possible. We are here for you.

[Little Jay]

Thank you everyone. I'm under the crisis people which means they will ring me each morning and someone comes to my house each day, as I live with family at the minute they felt that they could keep me safe. I told myself I will stay strong this weekend but I'm scared that things will feel worse.

[MtnTime2896]

If things feel worse, write them out. Here if it helps. After writing, show it to someone you trust.

I only suggest this because I've used it to stay safe before and it worked.

I'll be here to vent to as long as I can.

[Sunflower123]

You can do this. I'm glad the crisis team is checking on you and you are with your family. Please keep posting and take care of yourself this weekend. Thinking of you....

[Fuzzybear]

[Little Jay]

Thanks everyone, my anxietys at an all time high now at the thought of having to go

[MtnTime2896]

Originally Posted by Little Jay

Thanks everyone, my anxietys at an all time high now at the thought of having to go

That's normal, it is okay to get anxious over this. Though, I know, that doesn't make the experience any less frightening. I've always had to trick my mind into thinking, "Well, I'm just going for a day and then I'll be sleeping in my own bed." It worked and didn't work all at the same time, but it did give me breaks from my anxiety.

[Nike007]

I haven't heard about waiting to be admitted, though I'm from Canada and am quite young, and also have never been admitted. It's good that your crisis team is checking in. Don't be alone.

Hang in there.

[mountainstream]

[whisperingskye]

Any word on a bed yet? How are you doing?

[Little Jay]

There's no beds, but seeing them tomorrow so maybe they'll try again and I've had not the best experience with them today.

The woman I've been seeing wasn't in today, and I've had a really rough day. I rang them to say how much I was struggling and is there any chance I could see anyone. She just said they're busy and that I'm down to see them tomorrow anyway, and that was it. They gave me that number to ring if I needed support or if I was in a crisis, and when I actually ring them there's no support at all. It took me a lot of courage to call them and admit I needed their help, only to end up feeling like why did I bother.

Thanks for checking in, it really means a lot

[whisperingskye]

Yeah, I've had similar experiences with them. Sorry you had to go through that Did they tell you to have a bath and have a cup of tea? That seems to be their standard response on the odd occasion I call them

I hope they are better tomorrow. It's hard that it's always different people turning up at your house, difficult to build any kind of rapport.

Honestly it's probably not their fault, not enough funding and all that... I just wish they could care a bit more.

I'm here, if ever you want to talk

[Little Jay]

Nope I didn't even get that, the woman was simply rude, didn't even ask if I was okay when I clearly wasn't just felt like she didn't have the time for me. It seems so hit and miss, the first time I dealt with them (granted this was back in 2014) the people I saw were amazing, but since then it's just not been the same.

Thank you

[whisperingskye]

It really is hit and miss. I'm sorry

The crisis team are a joke, I really can't stand them. I called them once at 2:00 am , They told me to go for a walk, I mean seriously? Yeah their favourite line is have a cup of tea and take a bath.

[DelusionsDaily]

LittleJay, I'm so sorry they treated you that way. Seems a bit counterproductive to give a number that proves futile when called. I really hope they find you a bed tomorrow.

[Little Jay]

Thank you, they should be ringing me this morning to let me know when they can see me. They were getting annoyed last time that I struggled to speak, they said that they can't help me if I don't speak to them, which I understand but they could have been a bit more thoughtful about how hard it is. It just made it harder.

They said maybe I should try writing stuff down that they can read next time instead. I tried but I don't know if I want them to read it

[DelusionsDaily]

Why don't you write it down so you can read it to them. Even if you only write what feel comfortable telling them now at least it is a start.

[Mindful55]

Thinking of you ((Hugs))