Healing ourselves

Like many of you, I too am suffering from depression. In my case, it's relatively mild but I'm going to counseling and working on how to recover. It seems to me that we need to help ourselves. One of the most common symptoms of depression is this sense of being alone. I think we need to accept that. No matter how much anyone wants to, they cannot feel our pain. And it won't be right to expect them to. Why would we want anyone to feel like this? But, we can't feel anyone else's pain either. That's just the way it is. Secondly, we shouldn't beat ourselves up so much. It's like we've caught a cold. Sure, we feel miserable but it's not our fault. Maybe we did something silly or maybe we're not strong enough or maybe... Whatever it is, nobody's perfect. Everyone falls sick. It's not our fault. Some of you have experienced some really bad times. Look upon it like you got into a bad accident. You've been hurt. You need to recover. Instead of beating yourself up some more, you need some loving and care. You need to heal. We need to do this for ourselves. No one else can do it for us. So, feel sorry for yourself. But also tell yourself that you are not a bad person. Love yourself a bit. In fact, love yourself as much as you can. After what you've gone through, you deserve it. The worse the situation, the more you need to love and protect yourself. Think of it like a storm. All you have to do is hang in there. It'll wear itself out. It's not our fault. It's just a storm. The funny thing is, if you can just hang in there and go through it, you'll be stronger for it. The most important strength you can have is emotional strength. And surviving this will make you stronger emotionally. Think of it as some kind of training to help you face the world better. Let's face it, the world can be a lousy place, with horrible people.

I'd like to invite fellow sufferers to share your struggles. But see yourself as a warrior fighting a great battle. Against some really big and fiery dragon. The worse you feel, the bigger the battle you're fighting. The bigger a warrior you must be. And the way to fight it is simply to love yourself. It's a bully of a dragon. It'll go away as soon as you stand up to it. Let's support one another and encourage each other along this healing process.

I have recurrent, treatment resistant depression. I have mere days of normal or happy feelings then go right back down into severe depression. I'm never fully healed. Under those conditions, I'd be a pretty fierce warrior. I wish my depression acted like you mention in your post. Best wishes.

I think you are. I do hope that you will get better with time. But you're hanging in there and struggling on. That's really amazing, even though you may not feel like it. I see it like someone born without legs or something just as dramatic. And, just as we cheer people with physical handicaps who somehow cope and struggle on with their lives, how much more must we cheer you on. At least the physically handicapped are not struggling with treatment resistant depression. You're a champion. Really you are.

Everytime you make it to a normal or happy day, celebrate it. And when you're depressed, look forward to the next happy day. And keep telling yourself, it's not your fault. You've been dealt a raw deal. It has nothing to do with you. It just happens to rain a lot where you live. Give yourself all the love you can. Sometimes, the only solution to my depression is to buy an ice-cream.

Thanks for this thread. It's great to hear people are hanging in there.

Depression is the major component of my bipolar II. There are times I literally struggle to live. Only my kids and devoted wife keep me from dying some days. Whenever I have a string of good days, I know the depression is lurking around the corner. I try to get the most out of the good days because during the bad days, when they're truly bad, there is nothing I can do but survive, and survive I will. I make myself believe it. I fight this demon and I will win every time he appears.

Well done, markmcc21. There are some very inspiring stories in the sub-forum on Depression Success Stories as well. I'm doing a mindfulness exercise where you try to acknowledge your negative feelings with loving-kindness, like you might comfort a child who's been hurt. I found it quite helpful to do that. And you try to show him some of the good things that are happening as well. Like the wonderful wife and kids you have. I wonder if you can trick your mind to thinking whenever you are depressed, a string of good days are lurking around the corner.