[Christina86]

The best way to describe it I guess.

I'm sorry I'm not supportive anymore. I feel like a drain and a pain to everyone around me. I know I'm allowed to ask for help etc etc, but I still cant convince myself of such.

Yesterday I was going deliberately out of my way to try to hurt myself. Thankfully (I guess) my one friend was there with me for a few hours. I feel really bad for making his life difficult.

So yesterday was bad thoughts and attempted bad actions.

Today it is horrid fatigue, dissociating, and being unable to do much of anything (lack of affect, pretty close anyways).

Not much to complain about.

I see the dark hole.

I am so tired. So tired of everything.

So numb. Foggy. Spacey. I'm hurt, I know I am I just cant feel it.

I cant feel anything.

I want to cry, I cant. I cant force myself to eat. My physical symptoms of stress arent making my life nice.

All I seem to do is go in circles. never getting any better. even if people say differently

and I hate it. I hate my life. Blah

[wickedwings]

(((((canders)))))

[katheryn]

canders come here and rant to us we will listen, im sorry you are going through these terrable things, im sending you good vibes to help you through

[chalmette70043]

(((((((((((canders))))))))))))

[kebsfroggy]

That lifeless feeling really sucks (sorry I couldn't think of another word)

Just take heart. Your thoughts and feelings good or bad are welcome here. Sometimes it just helps to put the crap (another bad choice of words) in a post.

Remember we care and you are not alone.

tc

[jacq10]

((((((((((christina)))))))))))
I just want to first and foremost appologize for my lack of being around here as well .... I feel horribly about not being in contact with you as much as i'd like, and i wish there were something i could do to make up for it.
I'm sorry you had such a bad day yesterday ... but feel badly about the way things went down with your friend .... they obviously care a great deal about you and understand your actions and get how much you needed a friend.
I know the hole is dark... and foggy ... and generally, feels like its neverending. But it isn't. I know you have the strength to pick yourself up out of it, even if that just means making sure you take care of yourself. Eat. Sleep. and most importantly, talk. Talk about how you're feeling .. post on here, msg me, talk with your friend ... i know its hard, but i have so much faith in you.
Stay strong, stay safe
sending gentle hugs,
Jacq

[jacq10]

***** Don't feel badly.

You catch my drift...