What make you not to suicide?

As of now there's no chance that I will do away with my life. I feel like I far from want to end it all. There were times when I felt discouraged and thought about it. But I feel like I wouldn't have the guts to do it. Also if I did end it all, I feel like I would please those who do not like me that much. So I'll stay alive just to get on their nerves (LOL).

My mom and my brother. It would hurt them too much. Also I don't believe in an afterlife, so I think about how I'll end up sleeping forever sooner or later anyways.

Nothing...I did once think of suicide, but it was due to external factors, not my depression.

My children. If it weren't for them, is have been gone long ago. My kids didn't deserve to get stuck with me, but I couldn't put them through the pain

I know that despite my numerous failings, I have potential. If I didn't think I had anything of value to offer the world, I'd be much more tempted to end things.

Call me whatever you want, but family or religion wouldn't stop me. I'm a little different than most.

My mother. But not in the way that others have answered... everything is about her. She never listens when I tell her I'm physically in pain, or depressed, or just need a break, or how far a simple "please" or "thank you" would go. She would turn my death into something all about her. It wouldn't be about how much I was hurting, that suicide was my choice. It would become all about her pain, and who is going to take care of her, do her laundry, clean the kitchen, cook for her, wait on her hand and foot... I refuse to give her that. I refuse to let her take something that she has basically pushed med toward every day of my life and make it her loss. She is causing it, it is not her loss, it is her fault. One person can only out up with so much abuse for so long, before they crack... so yes, right now, I am choosing to stay alive out of spite.

And my friends. They are the ones that would be truly devastated. They are the ones that I don't want to hurt. They are the ones that give me hope that maybe, just maybe, tomorrow will be a little bit better than today.

So sorry that you're going through that . I get it though, your mother sounds a lot like mine. She's partly why I want to kill myself, because she's made my life miserable for as long as I can remember and also partly the reason why I haven't done it for pretty much the same stuff you mention. That, and the thought of trying to kill myself but I mess it up and end up disabled somehow and then I would depend on my mother for everything because I have no one else, it's like my worst nightmare.

My brother has already had so much trauma and loss in his life and I don't want to add to it.

Are you feeling any better?

^Thanks for asking. It's been 2 months since I asked, so I'm already OK through it just temporary. The feeling is not gone yet and may back again if I down, but I try my best to suppress it.

My dog wouldn't understand and I love him more than anything else on the planet. I couldn't stand the thought of hurting him.