[subtle lights]

Or do something.

I should do something.

I have very strong urges of Sui but I know I won't do it and in a way I wish I had the courage because I need to do something because I can't do this anymore.

[MickeyCheeky]

Sorry you've come to this point. You don't deserve it at all. Hope this feeling is only temporary and that you will feel better soon..

Hang in there. Is there anybody you can talk to about how you're feeling, family or friends? Sometimes I find it can be very helpful just to talk it out. You could also call a crisis line. Unless you're threatening to act on a plan they won't hospitalize you, maybe it would help to talk to someone.

What kind of stuff do you do for fun? Are there any activities that could give you a needed distraction? For me personally I enjoy listening to music, watching videos on Youtube, playing computer games or exercising. Even something mundane like chores can keep the brain distracted from negative thinking.

I hope you are feeling better soon.

[subtle lights]

Originally Posted by scaredandconfused

Hang in there. Is there anybody you can talk to about how you're feeling, family or friends? Sometimes I find it can be very helpful just to talk it out. You could also call a crisis line. Unless you're threatening to act on a plan they won't hospitalize you, maybe it would help to talk to someone.

What kind of stuff do you do for fun? Are there any activities that could give you a needed distraction? For me personally I enjoy listening to music, watching videos on Youtube, playing computer games or exercising. Even something mundane like chores can keep the brain distracted from negative thinking.

I hope you are feeling better soon.

Thank you.
I cannot really do anything now, except lay down....
Anything ends in me wating to destroy things or myself, there is so much anger but I'm always pushing it down again again again
Can't take it anymore.

No one would want to talk to me when I'm in this state.

But I'll be okay...as always
I don't know why

[subtle lights]

I don't want distractions anymore, my whole life has been a huge distraction

[whisperingskye]

Sorry you are feeling so awful, I'm in a similar spot. I wish I knew the words that would make it seem even just a little bit better for you... just know that you're not alone. I'm here if you want to talk

(((((Subtle lights)))))

[Sunflower123]

I'm sorry you're having such a tough time. I understand how it is when all you can do is lay down. I hope you start feeling better soon.

[Fuzzybear]

[ChildhoodFriend]

I would like to find the right words but unfortunately I can't.
I can tell you that a couple of days ago I wrote "Save me or let me drown, but please don't let me float". I think you are floating like me, I'm always pushed and crushed by my own mind and somehow I know I'll continue to float. I don't know how I menage to do it but I still do. It comes a time though when I'm sick of floating, of just going with the events, and everything I want is to be saved or to be drowned.
Everything I can say to you is let someone save you! The world in our minds can be dark but when you are on top of it you can also discover the abysses. When you drown you can't see the top.

[subtle lights]

Originally Posted by ChildhoodFriend

I would like to find the right words but unfortunately I can't.
I can tell you that a couple of days ago I wrote "Save me or let me drown, but please don't let me float". I think you are floating like me, I'm always pushed and crushed by my own mind and somehow I know I'll continue to float. I don't know how I menage to do it but I still do. It comes a time though when I'm sick of floating, of just going with the events, and everything I want is to be saved or to be drowned.
Everything I can say to you is let someone save you! The world in our minds can be dark but when you are on top of it you can also discover the abysses. When you drown you can't see the top.

I can so much relate to this, thank you
And I'm sorry you are going through this as well...

[jps123]

I felt exactly that way a few weeks ago. I am currently doing electroconvulsive therapy along with meds, and it's helping tremendously. I was terrified, but it's not bad at all. Please don't hesitate to get some help. I was convinced that I was evil and nothing would help. But it's helping!

[subtle lights]

I slept about an hour, I should eat but don't want to.
Maybe I will eat something and then go out to drink some beers and smoke in the park...
How messed up is that my goal what makes me get up and live is to go out drink and smoke.
...
And my "biggest achievement" was quitting smoking seven years ago....
Well, I screwed that up now. Not smart because my asthma might come back. But now I don"t care, I need this to survive.

[MtnTime2896]

((( suble lights )))