Down in the dumps....

I'm not doing very well today. I don't know exactly what is bothering me, but I am really struggling. I've been dx and treated for Bipolar, Social Phobia, Panic Disorder, and GAD. Along with all of this, I've been in a major depression for quite a while.

I'm getting treatment/meds from my pdoc, and I'm seeing my T on a regular basis. I also went through several months of group therapy earlier this year.

I had missed a bunch of work this year covered by FML and STD, due to the depression and above mentioned issues. To top it all off, I ended up having gall bladder removal surgery on August 1st. I was out for an additional two weeks. When I returned to work, they told me my job was being outsourced to an offshore group (read India). I was very fortunate to have found another job in my field, but as a contractor instead of a full time employee.

I guess all of this is catching up with me. I have used up all of my visits to my T and pdoc as covered by insurance. My pdoc has told me to keep coming back, they will work it out with me. My T has also encouraged me to continue visits, and that she would work it out.

I last saw my pdoc in late August. I'm not scheduled to return until December, unless needed. I haven't actually seen my T since the week right before my surgery. I'm scheduled to return this Thursday. That visit can't come soon enough. I have really sunk into the depression in the last few days, with today feeling particularly bad. I've been able to show up at work, but I can't concentrate to properly do my job. I fear that I am already failing again. I am glad to have found this site recently. I guess I just needed to vent a little. I am really working hard to attempt to calm down and relax, but it's not working very well. I guess I feel better when I get off of work for the day.

Thanks,
Jeff

((((cadet)))) and you're more than welcome here at psych central.

Wouldn't it be much nicer and less smelly to be on top of the dumps right now. Me too.

You've been through quite a lot lately and it probably is all catching up to you a once. (Murphy's law I think). I'm glad you will be able to see your T soon.

If pdoc is one you can call and they will call you back, maybe might want to speck with them about your concentration problem at work. At least put it on your "next time I see pdoc" list.

Hope some of the weight lifts from you soon and things get a little brighter.

(((((((((((((( Jeff ))))))))))))))

I really appreciate all the (((((( hugs ))))) and support. It does make me feel a little better. I felt so bad yesterday that I called in sick to work. I was really nervous and depressed. It gave me stomache problems all day

Today, I have managed to get out of bad, get ready, and at least show up for work. I really don't feel like being here. The one thing that is helping me get through the day is that I have and appt. with my T right after work. For now, I'm just barely hanging in there.

Jeff