[PsychNitrous]

How do you motivate yourself to get better? I've been in therapy long enough, I've read enough about depression and anxiety and stress and everything else. I know what everyone says to do to get better. I want to feel better. I just can't motivate myself to do anything I need to do. I'm so sick of feeling like this, I'd thonk that would be enough motivation, but it's not.

[eclairparty98]

Reflecting on times that were extremely dreadful and realising that it's either going down that bleak miserable path again, ruining all the progress and everything else or continue striving to get better. It's definitely not going to be a smooth road, not for me, not for anyone who's going through something so I'm told to just keep pushing myself. Motivation can be a tricky thing for many of us even when faced with the best opportunities or the most qualified therapist. It's strange!

What's important is maintaining a healthy optimistic attitude that you WILL get better and learn from your darkest moments, noticing that you overcame that obstacle.

I really, really, really hope things get better and the road softens for you

[CepheidVariable]

I'm sorry to hear about everything you're going through in your recent posts.

Originally Posted by PsychNitrous

I just can't motivate myself to do anything I need to do. I'm so sick of feeling like this, I'd thonk that would be enough motivation, but it's not.

*Sigh* Absolutely. That's the big trouble isn't it? We'd all like to know. It's rotten. And I've been at this for years. So, for myself ....

I find the positive attitude and thinking to be impossible in the bad times. Then, I have to start with the physical world and hope I can muster that into a mental improvement.

I do better with the physical things like exercise, minor chores, and going outside because they don't trigger my anxieties. I just don't like doing them. But that's easier to fight. I don't have to get into my head. When you're at low ebb, you have to pick your battles.

Sometimes it's just getting out of bed.

For harder things, the old classic of breaking things down into small steps or doing little things tends to be the most reliable.

The most effective things for me are talking to other people (not family) and getting out into the world (even just little errands, but more is better). That's also quite hard sometimes. When I can do those things however, it gives me strength.

I guess I would wrap up with: motivation builds on itself. Try not to be ashamed or dismissive of the tiniest of things. They are starts. And a tiny bit of relief is better than none at all.

Finally, some days nothing is enough -- and you just have to try and forgive yourself.

[Fuzzybear]

[PsychNitrous]

I think my biggest fear is that there's a part of me that doesn't want to get better. I refuse to talk to people about the destructive things I do, even though they could help me stop. I make excuses or keep things to myself so people around me don't figure out that I'm doing things to keep myself down.

Originally Posted by PsychNitrous

I think my biggest fear is that there's a part of me that doesn't want to get better. I refuse to talk to people about the destructive things I do, even though they could help me stop. I make excuses or keep things to myself so people around me don't figure out that I'm doing things to keep myself down.

I think I understand that fear. At least some of it. I'm pretty open with the people I'm close to, but there are a few things I've done to myself in the past (in the realm of SH) that I had kept to myself, and I can't figure out why. I feared there was some deliberate attempt in my brain to remain in a broken state too.

I wonder, do you feel like it's part of your identity, maybe? Or maybe because the destructive things you do are some of the few things that bring you comfort (even if it's short-lived comfort), and telling others would mean putting a stop to it?

I don't know. I won't presume to know what you're going through , but it really made me think about the possibility of unconsciously wanting to remain this way, and the fear of losing some part of ourselves, because it's all we feel like we have.

Stay safe, please.

[PsychNitrous]

Originally Posted by Bjørnen

I think I understand that fear. At least some of it. I'm pretty open with the people I'm close to, but there are a few things I've done to myself in the past (in the realm of SH) that I had kept to myself, and I can't figure out why. I feared there was some deliberate attempt in my brain to remain in a broken state too.

I wonder, do you feel like it's part of your identity, maybe? Or maybe because the destructive things you do are some of the few things that bring you comfort (even if it's short-lived comfort), and telling others would mean putting a stop to it?

I don't know. I won't presume to know what you're going through , but it really made me think about the possibility of unconsciously wanting to remain this way, and the fear of losing some part of ourselves, because it's all we feel like we have.

Stay safe, please.

I feel like you're pretty spot-on, that I'm afraid to let go of my depression because it's me. I've never been much of a happy person, and I often suspect that things started long before I realized. Lately I've been so focused on getting my insurance going so I can get back into therapy, but I'm scared to. I'm afraid that I've been resistant to it in the past, which is why none of the meds I've tried helped.

I know a lot of the destructive things I do are for comfort. Trigger warning on this part, but a lot of what I see as destructive is my drug use. I have some use that's more frequent and I don't feel like that's as bad, but very rarely we get "harder" drugs that I can admit to myself that I'm addicted to. I can't turn them down, not because I'm addicted but because I feel so much better when I use them.