[gonegirl99]

I can see why people lose it and end up commiting s----de. I went to a therapist for the first time in years a couple of months ago and had a bad experience. And the 2nd time it was another bad psychiatrist siding with my mother. ( I made a thread about my mother self diagnosing me as having something I didn't have.)

Everytime I get into an argument with my sister she jokes about me killing myself with her friends on the phone. And that was my biggest fear. That if I told someone I wanted to die I'd be made fun of. Anything good I do is overlooked. I've been the only one taking care of this new cat we got, playing with her cleaning her litter box etc. But I've been blamed for even the cat throwing up or scratching up the couch.

I can't seem to keep a job because I end up not going. I can't stand being around people. I have AVPD and consistently feel like people hate me. I can't sell my artwork like I want to because I don't have social connections. I thought I could just sell the **** online and not have to make friends but that's not the case.

Life is hard AF for some of us and easy for others. I can't even see myself saving money to get even a car for myself because I've failed at a job. I want to escape without them knowing one day but I feel like a 17 year old in a 25 year old body. (People say I look kind of young too).

The universe is just against me. Strangers family members and co workers alike. Can I get some real genuine answers on here? I'm waiting for the world to end.

[Winterbritt]

I think you can find a lot of answers here. You might have to suspend disbelief to try something new or look at life in a different way, but I think there are lots of answers to be found. What question are you asking?

[starryprince]

Hey there! I'm also 25 but I look a lot younger, heh. I definitely understand what you mean about how some people have it easier than others. That's true, unfortunately.

I've also been through some difficult circumstances from very early on in my life and there were times if I wondered if death would be better. I sometimes believe on and off that the universe is against me and my mother (she's had it extremely hard to the point where my boss said my mom had bad luck). My whole family has, actually. We have only survived because of our determination. I know my negative circumstances and abuse have sort of given me motivation to work very hard so my adult life can be stable and a happy one, a life where I don't have to struggle and I actually feel safe. Don't get me wrong. There are many times where life gets me down and I wonder what is the point of even trying, especially when I see other people's easy lives. I get jealous. I think, "That's not fair, wtf?!" And when I feel like that, I literally just take some time to be depressed. I sit with my emotions and just try to feel them, since avoiding them had has made things so much worse for me. Feel the sadness, feel the anger, and then turn those things into motivation. We're at a very tricky time in out lives. I don't know what it was like for the other generation but I've noticed our generation isn't really having fun in our 20s because we're all so focused on becoming stable and having a job. I believe our 30s will be better, because by then we'll have this "being adult" thing on lock, you know? But for now, sadly, we have to struggle while keeping our head above water.

I'm not sure what you're asking, but I can definitely empathize. It's really hard out there when you've been given a crappy hand in life and it's even harder to turn that crappy hand into a good one, to turn it to your advantage. But the only thing we can do is keep trying to survive and not let the bad things win.

I know therapy and medication have helped me. You may not like the idea of either but without those two things, I don't think I'd be here right now. Definitely consider it. Your insurance may cover both therapy and medication, as I don't have to pay anything for both. So if you get a therapist you don't like, you haven't cost a thing and you can keep on looking.